It’s about time

[Itsabouttime]

Hello, its about time I told my story.
I escaped an abusive relationship quite some time ago now he was controlling and emotionally abusive towards me and I finally plucked up the courage and left thankyou to the support of my family. I have children with my abuser and he said he would remain amicable which he did while I was single. He and I moved on got new partners and things started to go a little strange bit by bit from there. I was never allowed a job and when I got a job my partner kindly offered to do pick ups and drop off for me as I work during those times. As the time went on my ex abuser started to get more and more possessive saying he had children with me and he wants to see me. As there isn’t anything I can do about the working hours and days I do I just brushed it under the carpet and carried on as normal. Suddenly I get a call at work saying I need to pick the children up there had been an incident regarding him and his new partner and my children were at his house at the time. My stomach instantly turned. He had not changed it wasn’t just me I got home and my eldest had signs of trauma and still to this day she suffers. Social Services got involved as they have children together and I decided until they sorted the issues out at the house I would hang on to the children to keep them safe whilst they worked out whatever it is they were going through. I was told at the time by social services that this was OK. Obviously they cannot give any legal advice but they said I was within my rights as I thought it was best for the children. Anyway he called me up and half heartedly apologised and also threatened me a little ‘I know stuff you don’t want others to know’ at the time it scared me a little but basically he has some ‘pictures of me ‘i was ashamed. I didn’t want him to send them to my mum. Anyway he wanted to see the kids again which I agreed to it. It had been weeks since and he continued to threaten me with court so I thought it was time to start easing them back into the routine. It was a massive mistake on my part because he started to emotionally abuse my eldest. He told them that if they listen to me and do as I (there mum) say they will (detail removed by moderator). There has been more instances but this one really hit me. I called social services and the children haven’t seen him since. I got my mum to text him to tell him from now on to message her regarding the children because I don’t want anything to do with him. He makes me feel sick. I am trying to keep it together for my children because I don’t want them to hear what I think about him. Even though I hate him I don’t want my kids to. But my eldest gets upset sometimes and says that her dad is mean and she doesn’t miss him and that she’s scared of him she also tells me all of the things he’s said about me to her and it breaks my heart I’m starting to think she needs professional help. He is lying to everyone his kids his partner and now he is lying to a solicitor he says he wants to see me and not anyone else but I really don’t want to see him. He also says he wants the kids overnight which I and my eldest are not comfortable with. I am scared what if they belive him over me? I just want to keep my kids safe from the abuse. He needs professional help. I don’t want them to never see him again I just want him to stop what he did to me what he’s doing to others and see the light! I know Its too much to ask but my kids can no longer take this kind of emotional strain its effecting there life at a school at home and in other social situations and it is truly heartbreaking to see. I don’t know what to do please if anyone has any advice what should I do? I cant afford a good solicitor and I’m so fragile I won’t be able to handle court but I cant handle what he’s doing to my children either. Thanks for reading if you got this far. You don’t know how much I appreciate this forum.

[Plodding]

Hi look up dv assist . They are a new charity set up since covid . They will talk tonight about ur option ie legal stuff like a non molestation order or I think I there are other agreements u can have in place to protect the children and u . They are there also to take u through the court process and be an advocate for u
Hope this helps x

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