It’s taken two years from separating for my head to clear, to see things as they really were.
I can’t believe how I was treated. And my kids. When I first came on this forum, my first post was listing incidents, and asking the ladies if it was abuse or not. It felt very wrong to me and quite unbearable, but I couldn’t face the fact that I had been married to such a calculating and cold hearted man. I thought there must be some explanation, or that I was making a mountain out of a molehill.
Of course, all the responses I got were a resounding yes, that he was abusive.
Now, I can’t believe I even had to question it. I can see so, so clearly how my marriage with him was run along the lines of total lack of respect, zero kindness and him taking advantage of situations to his own advantage. I can see how twisted, ugly and cruel he really is.
But I think it is the No Contact which has enabled me to clear my head like this. And the spending time with normal people. He seems so
Dysfunctional and warped in comparison.