It’s always my fault

[Tired of this]

I’m new to this forum. I’ve been living with emotional abuse for years which has intensified since lockdown. Am constantly being shouted at, called names, worthless piece of ****, c***, everything you can think of. In front of my children too. Just recovering from major surgery but husband is the one resting/ lying down/ saying he’s tired. I’m stunned by his selfishness. When I became ill the abuse intensified as he blames me for being weak for being ill in the first place. I’m now recovering physically but am sure my health is being affected by his behaviour. I’m simply refusing to do the lifting/ moving I’ve been told not to as it will jeopardise my recovery. I’ve got support from friends and am planning to divorce him in the new year. I just wanted to see if anyone else has had similar experiences. I believe my husband has n**********c personality disorder.

[gettingtired]

Hello, glad to hear you’re recovering. Yes this seems a common trend with abusers. Mine regular complains about aches/pains, his mental health etc but seldom does anything about it or takes responsibility. Even something as simple as me having a headache can make him seem a bit irritable. He’s told me before that I always have headaches or I that I take painkillers a lot. I always viewed that as him being concerned but now I’m starting to think perhaps not.
I think if our health has deteriorated in some way it probably irritates them if anything because then it can’t be all about them which is how they like it.
Sorry, it’s awful being shouted and called those names. I receive the same treatment when he has one of his temper outbursts. Doing that in front of your children is not ok. Glad you’re planning on divorcing him. Have you contacted local womens aid for support?

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