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    • #129894
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Hello everyone,

      I just wanted to apologise for posting again when I probably haven’t responded to previous posts/comments yet but it’s not been easy lately for me to get on the forum for very long to respond to anything.
      Things are becoming unbearable at home; probably because he senses the change in me. I can feel I’m close to leaving now as the anxieties I had about leaving are starting to seem more appealing than my mental health being completely destroyed which is what will happen if I stay for much longer. ​

      I know I’ll probably need to seek legal advice about this but I just thought I’d ask here first to see if anyone else has experienced similar.
      There’s a possibility I may move out before our monthly rent due date.. I’m wondering if I’ll still be eligible to pay my half on that date despite leaving before then? Obviously I would inform our landlord of the date I moved out on.
      My argument is that he owes me (detail removed by moderator) and he’s not going to pay me it back before I leave so if I left him to pay the full rent then we would be even. Obviously I don’t expect him to be reasonable about anything in the slightest once he realises I’ve left him so I’m just wondering where I would stand legally. There’s nothing in the tenancy agreement that explains what happens in these circumstances and I don’t really want to ask the landlord before just in case.
      Surely this kind of thing must happen often with people separating and one person leaving the tenancy agreement? Does that person still have to give notice to the landlord?

      Thanks in advance and sorry if this post isn’t appropriate here x

    • #129898
      Eggshells
      Participant

      As far as I’m aware, if your name is on the tenancy agreement then you will be equally responsible for the rent until you reach the end of the notice period.

      I know it sounds unfair but you may just have to write off the money and move on.

      • #129899
        gettingtired
        Participant

        I thought this would be the case. I wonder if the same applies for council tax and utility bills. Or if you can just inform them that you’ve moved out so require your name to be removed from the account.

    • #129900
      KIP.
      Participant

      I’d talk to citizens advice. You’re fleeing domestic abuse and there are laws now to protect you. You cannot stay in a dangerous situation. Do you know the required notice for ending the agreement?

      • #129907
        gettingtired
        Participant

        It’s 1 month notice for the tenancy agreement x

    • #129901
      KIP.
      Participant

      Don’t let money stop you from leaving. You can always pay back anything outstanding in small instalments. If he’s left in the property then the landlord can deal with him.

      • #129908
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Yes that’s true and if anything it’s the price I might have to pay to be free from him. It still feels unfair though x

    • #129903
      Eggshells
      Participant

      You should be able to come off the council tax and the water bills.

      When I left I phoned the council tax, water, utilities and phone company. I explained that I was leaving due to domestic abuse and that I needed my name to come off all bills and that my ex must not be given pmy new address or prior notice that I was leaving. Most of the bills were solely in my name and all of the companies I dealt with were brilliant except for the broadband company.

      They did everything for me, including dealing with my ex who had to get the bills put in his name.

      I’d recommend that you give them a ring on the day that you leave, explain the situation and ask if they can take you off the bills and liase with your ex about taking sole responsibility for the bills.

      • #129909
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Thank you, some are in both of our names but all have my bank details and the money is taken from my account. I really hope it’s a simple case of explaining and being removed as I really don’t want the extra stress of having to fight to be removed xx

    • #129912
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I was in the same position. The direct debits all came out of my accounts. It didn’t make any difference, it was really easy for me. I phoned them, they did all the complicated stuff. Honestly, it shouldn’t be a problem.

      They even refunded any overpayments back to me. They just close the account and re-open a new account with your partner. If you pay in advance you’ll get a refund on any excess in your account, if you pay after you’ve used the water, they will bill you for your usage up until you move out.

    • #129914
      KIP.
      Participant

      Remember you can ring 999 at anytime if he’s scaring you. Keep your phone on you fully charged at all times. Abuse isn’t fair. It’s just a case of getting out with the minimal damage done to you and staying safe once out x

    • #129922
      iliketea
      Participant

      If you have a joint account, make sure you have it either frozen, or remove your name, if its in credit. Do this well ahead of leaving as it can be complicated particularly if its in overdraft. My ex went on to spend all the money and run up a huge overdraft after I left – I am now liable for half of this, despite me having called on the day of leaving, and despite me never using the account personally. At the time, things weren’t as clear as they are now in terms of domestic abuse and banks, but they said I needed to go into branch with him and both sign in person to say that we were closing the account – obviously I couldn’t do that before I left, or after! So I had to keep it open. Its different now and they will take domestic abuse into consideration. Ask for their vulnerable customer department, or customers with special needs. It varies from bank to bank. Also, some have codes of conduct, some don’t.

      If you don’t want your ex knowing your new address be very clear with any places that you change it with that you have left because of DA. Sometimes they send letters of confirmation to both addresses with both addresses on to confirm!

      Sending you hugs and strength. Its exhausting thinking all this through but you’re getting there, ask away as we have all “been there done that” in some form. xx

      • #129933
        gettingtired
        Participant

        Thank you iliketea x we don’t have a joint bank account but the accounts are in both of our names and the money comes out of my bank account xx

    • #129923
      iliketea
      Participant

      Meant to say the local council were amazing about the council tax and all the utilities have given either payment holidays or waived my share of the bills as he wouldn’t, and hasn’t, ever paid his share from staying in the house a long time after we left.

      If you have children – contact CMS asap as they take forever to process applications and also stuff up quite regularly, I am still trying to claim back months of unpaid CMS due to their admin errors. Also, benefits were really helpful so definitely contact them too, if you put in an application for UC before you leave so you can have money available as soon as you leave to buy food etc, essentially you are no longer a couple if there has been domestic abuse, even if you are under the same roof, this is now recognised, this is how they explained it to me, so you are able to claim as a single person. He slept elsewhere in the house so they said this showed we hadn’t been a couple for a long time.

    • #129924
      iliketea
      Participant

      In terms of your tenancy agreement, I would be really careful in terms of telling your landlord before you leave, in case somehow it gets back to your ex. Leaving is the most dangerous time as Im sure you know. Legally you are probably liable as its a contract and a months notice but like everyone has said DA and staying in a dangerous situation is recognised so Im sure your landlord will be understanding. Probably for the amount of money it would be safer to let them know after you’ve left, and then owe the landlord your share and offer to pay back in small instalments when you can. I would explain its DA and why you’re leaving, and let them know on the day you leave, as in after you’ve gone. Just to stay safe really.xx

    • #132288
      Camel
      Participant

      I think you have to decide whether to take a physical hit or a financial one.

      Because you’re financially liable to pay the full amount of any bill with your name on. The landlord or the gas company really don’t care whether you’ve paid your ‘share’. They’ll go after everyone until they get their money. I’d happily be proved wrong.

      Make a list of everything with your name on – rent, council tax, utilities, tv licence, Netflix, Spotify, car insurance – go through your bank statement for the last year so you don’t miss anything.

      You’re probably on a month to month tenancy now, unless you signed a new agreement each year. To get your name removed you simply put in writing that you’re giving a month’s notice to quit the property. When one party breaks a joint agreement, the whole agreement is terminated. It’s then up to the landlord and the other party to negotiate a new agreement.

      Take meter readings before you leave. Then once you’re safe, call them up and inform them that you have moved out. You will only be liable for charges until this point. As suggested, you can negotiate small, regular payments until the debt is paid. They’re obligated to agree to arrangements that take into account your ability to pay.

      Be sure to cancel direct debits and standing orders. If you’re in credit with a utility make sure to get a refund. Follow everything up with a recorded letter or an email. Get statements sent to a new address.

      It’s so easy to get stuck, thinking about what’s fair and how much he owes you. But will you honestly feel better if he pays you the money he owes? What price do you put on your own happiness and safety?

      I think cutting financial ties sends a stronger message than trying to make him pay up. It means severing his hold over you.

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