4th September 2021 at 6:53 pm #131039
So these last few weeks haven’t been great at all. We had an argument the other day and he raised his hand to me. He said it was to try and scare me out of the room.
But these last few days it’s got really physical on (detail removed by Moderator) occasions over (detail removed by Moderator) days.
I need out.
I feel embarrassed to tell anyone.
I have bruises on my legs and arms.
My mum is so worried.
Any advice or anything ❤️ love to you all xx
4th September 2021 at 8:06 pm #131043ladiesand gentlemenParticipant
Not an expert, just a Mum who would be very worried about you too.
I have started to do this, keep a diary, take photos of your bruises, speak to a professional, women’s aid one to one, citizens advice, your GP,a trusted friend or relative
Absolutely no need to feel embarrassed, it’s HIM at fault here, not you, we all understand, you have been VERY BRAVE just reaching out in this way
Could you go and stay with Mum for now ?
Stay safe x*x
4th September 2021 at 8:18 pm #131045
Please talk to the police. They can support you and abuse always gets worse. For you own safety I’d report this to the police. Keep your phone on you fully charged at all times and ring the national domestic abuse helpline x what he’s doing is illegal and he’s counting on you feeling too ashamed to report him but the shame is all his x
4th September 2021 at 8:20 pm #131046HawthornParticipant
My heart goes out to you. The violence in my (no thankfully ex-) relationship erupted suddenly too. In hindsight there were lots of warning signs, not least my crippling anxiety brought on by living in fear of my husband.
You do not have to live like this. You are not alone and there are lots of people who will help you. Whatever he has been telling you this is NOT your fault. You do not deserve this situation but you can escape it. Please reach out to women’s aid, your GP or ideally the police. What he is doing and has done to you is a crime. It is not love, there is nothing you can do or not do to change his behaviour and sadly, as you have found, abuse always gets worse.
You are so so brave to have reached out here. Gather your strength and be brave once more, reach out for more support. If you choose to leave please please do not tell him of your plans. He is violent and very dangerous and leaving her abuser is the most dangerous time for a woman. We are here to support you whatever you decide to do. Sending a hug and lots of strength x*x
4th September 2021 at 8:52 pm #131050LisaMain Moderator
Thank you for sharing with us; it must have taken such courage to post. You have already had some brilliant supportive replies so I hope it is helping to reach out on here.
As the others have said- please do contact your local domestic abuse support service (https://www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/), the police, your GP, our Live Chat service (https://chat.womensaid.org.uk/) open every day 10am-6pm, the 24hr National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) or any friends and family you feel comfortable and safe talking to. There is support when you are ready.
You deserve so much better than to be treated this way. We are here for you, keep posting to us when you are able to.
5th September 2021 at 9:52 am #131061beachhutParticipant
I hope you are safe and doing ok today. Never in my wildest dreams did I think me ex partner would raise a hand to me but he did, I told him it was his first and last time and I was going, until I could make my escape the situation got worse and he was arrested. Please call the police, you have nothing what so ever to be embarrassed about, it will be the hardest but best thing you can ever do for yourself, assaulting someone is a choice made by an abuser, not your fault and nothing on this earth warrants someone assaulting you in any way.
Stay safe and take care, beachhutXx
5th September 2021 at 9:14 pm #131078klxempowerParticipant
I would report it to the police straight away. A man that uses violence will either continue or use other means of control. To have a police record of it will help you going forward and will reinforce your sense of control. The violence will make you feel responsible, guilty, on eggshells. He has no right to do this to you. And of course contact the local domestic violence service.
13th September 2021 at 10:59 am #131417SpiderwebParticipant
Report it to the police as soon as possible please. Don’t let it escalate any more. I let it slide for (detail removed by Moderator) months and it ended up in him attacking me with a weapon! At that point I called 999 and I cannot say enough how great police were and how much they helped me and my kids and went above and beyond to make sure me and kids were safe.
Don’t be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed of – he is the one who is abusing you, scaring you and everything he does is on purpose and he knows exactly what he is doing so don’t be afraid, call 999 and report it.
Strength and prayers to you xx
13th September 2021 at 6:13 pm #131422
I’ll be calling 999 once I’m out to report everything. I will also get their help with any safety measures on my property xx
13th September 2021 at 9:47 pm #131425
They can help you get out safely x
14th September 2021 at 8:05 am #131435
Don’t worry. I already have a plan to get me out safely. I’ve already spoken to my local dv team about it all x
14th September 2021 at 11:39 am #131452
Well done. Take all the help offered. You’re doing great 💕
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