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    • #147815
      Mellow
      Participant

      Co parent games begin

      So he said he would have them twice a week and I asked could you send me dates every week and he basically said no but didn’t say it like that just said he would never know the dates .
      So had them last week then this week made no arrangements.i won’t chase.
      Also the phone calls have slacked which has upset my child because he promised to call daily .and on top of this one child has said they don’t want to stay the night.i feel like he trying to hurt me because I left (detail removed by moderator) he got upset when he called and my child didn’t pick up straight away he text me (detail removed by moderator) but I wasn’t near my phone so (detail removed by moderator) as he had already called then but he always wants them to pick up straight away I can’t deny it’s upsetting when I call them too and they don’t pick but feel like his punishing them now by not making arrangements to collect last time he did this he blamed it on me cause I didn’t call him .i don’t want to chase him I don’t want anything to do with him why can’t he call his kids it’s so upsetting

    • #147820
      Hereforhelp
      Participant

      Hey Mellow, you are wanting to co parent and do it in a rational, reasonable way. Your ex is continuing to abuse you via your kids. Mine did the same. You cannot co parent with an abuser as they are not rational or reasonable. He had no right to say he would phone every day and then he doesn’t, he knows that will affect your child/children. Can you put a time/day in place and he can phone on those times (putting a boundary in place?). I found I had to put boundaries in place each step of the way, that didn’t work as mine also continued to abuse from afar so I went Grey rock on him. We are no contact now.
      Your ex expecting his children to pick up immediately is a rule he wants in place to make him feel better and in control, like snapping his fingers to do what he wants now!

    • #147824
      Mellow
      Participant

      Thankyou he usually has a roundabout time he rings but then seems to drop off now and again .i should have known he wouldn’t ring daily but what’s annoying is he never left his phone when we were together it’s literally 5 minutes i even tell my kids I won’t make promises I can’t keep if I don’t say anything it’s cause I don’t know I don’t want to be in that position if I say yea it means it’s definitely happening but I won’t do anything unless I’m 99 percent certain 1 percent meaning something traumatic happened so I couldn’t

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