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    • #15676
      betterdays
      Participant

      I’m looking at the clock the chasers on and I have this terrifying feeling he’s kind of still here it’s all reminders. Everywhere I look like programmes. Y.day on the supermarket shelf it were crunchy nut cornflakes I feel he’s still haunting me and always will x

    • #15678
      undertherainbow
      Participant

      I understand this completely. The Chase is one of my triggers also! Hopefully within time these will lessen. At times it can feel so obsessive almost… I honestly feel your pain betterdays and have been following your posts. You’re doing really well with NC and I don’t doubt this has made you be heard loud and clear with no words at all. xx

    • #15685
      mixed-up mum
      Participant

      The same for me – I just can’t watch The Chase now – that was when he came home everytnight – I remember getting nervous – stressed at the thought of him walking in the door – dreading him coming home – what kind of mood wou he be in – would he be nasty, shout, argue, pick fights – or would he be in a good mood and be nice to us.

      I knew as soon as he walked in that door (by the look on his face) how his mood would be that night, and how he’d treat us.

      What ever mood he came home in would then dictate the mood for the whole house that night……treading on eggshells trying to keep him happy…..

      So now I dread that theme tune, and I can’t have The Chase on anymore – too many bad, bad memories…….

    • #15686
      godschild
      Participant

      From what I understand it takes time, I read a book by a lady and her abuser used to insist that the kitchen blind was exactly lined up with the kitchen tiles and other things and she continued to do these things as though he was still there, but gradually delighted in doing her own thing.
      I guess its like when someone dies you see things that remind you of them,it takestime to get over

    • #15689
      Serenity
      Participant

      My abuser used to walk in from work just as my son was watching The Simpsons.

      My son doesn’t really watch it anymore, but when he does, I feel on edge. This is because my ex used to walk in, not even say hello to his child, but just bark at him to turn it down. He was irritated by anyone’s programmes- yet he used to watch The Simpsons himself and he also played his music too loud. He never wanted to listen to others’ music, however.

      My previous DV worker said how many ladies reported the temperature falling at 5pm when he came home. That’s exactly how it was.

      I now realise that I felt anxious the whole day- because I was worried about his 5/6pm appearance.

    • #15690
      betterdays
      Participant

      Hi all yes it’s exactly right we dreaded him pulling up outside in the work van. Kids would warn me and say he’s home!!! We were same if he were happy we all had to be happy too. All have what tea he wanted eggshells it’s sad to say but when that’s normal life For you although it’s not healthy it’s that what you crave I’ve always had to live to please him ducking and diving. I just hope this no contact is killing him because I’m here and my hearts breaking. X

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