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    • #163073

      I’ve left. Been working up to it for some time, with support from Women’s Aid and local groups.

      It didn’t quite go to plan but the day arrived and I didn’t let it pass without making the leap.

      I’d built up so much desire to leave that I could barely stand to be near him in the end.

      Now that I’ve left I feel like I’m going to be sick. Can’t stop shaking. The missing him has hit me like a ton of bricks and even though I was told this would happen I’m still reeling.

    • #163075

      I just want to say a massive well done to you. I was exactly the same when I left, which wasn’t that long ago. We’re all on this journey to freedom together. Be kind to yourself. I found reading about trauma bonds and the abuse cycle really helpful to stop me going back. Really really well done xx

    • #163082
      Main Moderator

      Hi GreenHope,

      You have done so well to get yourself where you are now, as we know it isn’t an easy thing to do.

      It’s important that you are able to reach out for emotional/psychological support now that you have left, as it is normal and expected you will experience all kinds of complex emotions. Using this forum is one way to access such support.

      If you are still engaging with any of the services you used to leave, do let them know if you are struggling emotionally and need help. Or use the Live Chat service at Women’s Aid to talk through this further, or the domestic abuse service that is local to you now.

      The counselling directory is a website that lists counsellors that are listed with recognised professional bodies or those who have sent in copies of their qualifications and insurance cover. If you’re in need of support, you can search their website to be connected with a professional counsellor or psychotherapist.

      You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

      The Freedom Programme is an 11- or 12-week rolling programme which provides information about male violence to women. This programme identifies the tactics abusers use, the beliefs held by abusers, and the effects that domestic abuse can have on women and children. The Freedom Programme is for women who have experience of domestic abuse, be it in their personal or professional lives. You can start the programme at any time, and you can attend as many or as few sessions as you choose. Each session is entirely confidential, and you can contribute as much, or as little, of your own thoughts and experiences as you like. Many women find this a very useful support group as it is available to women whether they are experiencing current or past abuse. The Freedom Programme is run in many locations across the UK.

      I hope this is helpful. Keep posting to let us know how you get on. You are not alone.


    • #163085

      Hi Greenhope
      Another voice chiming in here to say we’ll done …and I can relate to the range of emotions hitting you right now.
      I’m not dure I have lots of advice …I’m only a couple of weeks our at the minute and everything is feeling quite unreal and numb for me. Like I can’t really believe I’ve done it and am worried it’s all gonna hit at once…
      I’m focusing on small things at the moment …a walk, cooking something….( I started small … toast!!) …just something to bring a bit of routine / sense of normality in amongst all the upheaval into what is now my “new” ( for now) life .
      Keep reaching out , you aren’t on your own

    • #163505

      Well done, standing with you x

    • #163506

      Greenhope Well done for leaving!! U wil face an array of different emotions but keep posting on here as the support is wonderful. Stay strong.xxxx

    • #163886

      Ohhhhhh very well done!!!! That is brilliant!

    • #165218

      Well done embrace your freedom

    • #165221

      Standing with you also

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