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[Detail removed by moderator] after a argument,he smashed up my front room,lamp,2 mobile phones and the Christmas tree. He really kicked off so I called the police. He has been arrested and I ended up revealing everything that happened over the past decade. I feel a mixture of relief and confusion and guilt. He won’t know that I have told them about the sexual abuse and he won’t be expecting it either. I feel guilty for him and sorry now as he’ll be feeling sorry for himself and not even realise what he’s done to me. How am I supposed to survive this,my children’s dad and I’m getting him arrested probably charged for sexual assault. Why do I feel so bad? Like I have done something wrong. All I can see in my mind is him sitting there feeling so confused,scared and upset. I don’t know what I’m going to do now. Sorry for going on.xx
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Hi beanyboo22,
Well done for calling the police, it must have taken a lot of courage to do so. It is natural and understandable to feel a range of emotions after what you have experienced. Believe you haven’t done anything wrong, your partner chose to act in an abusive way which wasn’t acceptable in any situation.
If you would like to talk about what has happened then you could try to call the 24hr National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247) again. They are a busy service but there is a voicemail for you to request a call back at a convenient time. This could be a good opportunity as your partner is not there.
You are doing brilliantly, give yourself time and take support on offer. Keep posting when you need to, the forum is here for you.
Take care,
Lisa
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Well done for taking such a big brave step. I can really recommend that you contact you local woman’s aid who will be able to provide support to you and your children.
I think it is normal to feel guilty. You have been conditioned to take the blame for him for a long time and it will take a while to get over this.
You will survive this and come out stronger. Get as much support as you can and take care of yourself (sleeping, eating well, exercise and relaxation).
Xx
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