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    • #147941
      VikingQueen
      Participant

      I’ve told him tonight that I want to split up and he’s absolutely panicking. His first reaction was to shout at me and said he would make it difficult for me.
      Then he changed tack and has spent half an hour asking me not to give up on him as he’s done so well at changing things in his life for the past fortnight. Like that wipes out the last few years.
      Please help me stick to my guns. He’s asked me to really think before I throw everything away and he’s gone to bed. I said I would just to be on my own.
      I’m so determined to stick to my guns and not waver. Please help.

    • #147942
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Well done that’s such a huge scary step. Strap yourself in as you’re going to see every side of him over the next few days – like tonight you’ll get nasty, nice & everything in between as he tries to work out how to get you back in-line. He doesn’t want to lose his supply.

      Best advice is focus on you, work on sorting your money, house etc, as hard as it is don’t look for his input. Read up as much as you can about abuse, educate yourself as the more you know, the more you’ll see and those rose tinted glasses fell off. Get some support, reach out to family/friend/GP/woman’s aid/local dv whoever it might be and keep a log or journal. You’ll need it to remind you of how he’s being because your brain is bonded and needs to detox too so will also try to pull you back & forth.

      Finally, stay safe. This is can be the most dangerous time, they don’t like to lose control. For now, relax, make decisions at your speed not his and watch his actions closely – they’ll tell you a lot. Good luck x

    • #147993
      VikingQueen
      Participant

      Thank you so much Banana, I’m 24 hours in and I’m standing firm. He thinks fighting for me is the answer. I came home today and he’s painted the hallway as a “surprise”.
      I keep reminding myself this is love bombing and all these pretty words mean nothing.
      Day 1 done, just keep swimming!

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