I’ve told the housing about the abuse and now I’m worried

[Lizardlady]

Hello ladies, I’m looking for advice that I’ve done the right thing.

So he’s on the joint tenancy with me, he’s agreed to move out and is looking for private rent accommodation.

I wanted to know where I stand when he leaves and after speaking to refuge last night they advised me to ring the council and tell them about my situation and the abusive behaviour.

He’s not physically violent, he’s controlling and coercive.

I told them I don’t want to get him in any trouble because he’s being civil about separating but I was told to log the situation as it goes in my favour with regards to keeping the tenancy in just my name when he does leave.

I’m sat here panicking now in case I’ve done the wrong thing and he finds out I’ve told them everything.

I have to wait for my housing officer to get back to me to find out what to do about the tenancy but in the meantime I’m not sure if I should mention I’ve spoken to them?

I’m worried he could use it against me with the kids to make it look like I’m being horrible to him when he’s trying to be nice.

Should I tell him but say they mentioned abuse themselves from when I called the police on him last year and victim support arranged a IVDA that was through the council or should I just wait until I’ve spoken to my housing officer first?

Really doubting myself and keep thinking I shouldn’t have told them now but I just want to protect my tenancy and can’t really trust him.

Please help

[Breath123]

Breath, your doing the right thing.

It will be fine I’ve had a very similar thing happen myself, nothing should go to him yet and I don’t belive at this stage anything would be pushed to him so you should be fine. X*x

[Lizardlady]

I told him I rang the council and they mentioned domestic abuse from when I called the police last time. I worried myself so much that he might find out I thought this might have been a way to take the pressure off without him knowing it was me.

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I only told him out of fear that he might find out when he speaks to them and make everything worse.

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I’m questioning myself so much and just wanted everything to be civil but I’ve obviously made a mistake telling him now.

So worried and depressed, I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. (detail removed by moderator) of living with being controlled and manipulated I’ve come further than I’ve ever done before and everyone keeps saying I’m doing the right thing and it’ll all get better but It really doesn’t feel like that and I just feel like he’s going to find a way to win and manipulate everyone like always.

I have no fight in me now feel like just giving up and now I’m worried his lies will be believed over me and I’m also worried about what he might do to make me get in trouble instead of himself.

Please help me, anyone who knows what I should do or has been in the same situation?

Thank you so much

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