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    • #145623
      velvet-ribbon
      Participant

      I’m new to this forum and have not really posted much yet regarding my personal circumstances. I’ve been trying to get a permanent job for a long time and have had difficulty, mainly because of my lack of self-confidence. (detail removed by Moderator) I had to resign from a (detail removed by Moderator) job due to the fact I (detail removed by Moderator).
      I have made up my mind now that I am determined to get out of this situation, and now I have an interview coming up, (detail removed by Moderator). I have not told my husband about this, only a couple of trusted friends. I am so anxious, I really need this opportunity and am so scared I will mess it up. I am really bad at answering questions and I often just freeze. I also find it really difficult to recognise anything good that I have done and to talk about myself. I’m also really worried that I will get overwhelmed and just cry which is something I sometimes do when I am stressed.
      I’m not really sure what I am asking but wondered if anyone could understand and give me any advice please. I don’t have many clothes either so I am also stressing about what to wear. I thought I would just wear a nice dress but I don’t know if that would be a bad idea.

    • #145635
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Oh bless you, good luck!! Every interview will allow you to take in notes, so use something where you write down 1) the situation / what was happening, 2) your actions / what you did and 3) result – what was the outcome, especially what you did, any feedback you’ve had from colleagues/managers/customers. That way even if you panic or have a mental block you’ve got the answers in front of you. You’ve got this!!xx

      • #145638
        velvet-ribbon
        Participant

        Bananaboat thank you for your advice and kind words. It makes me feel much better if I can have some notes with me. I’m preparing some now. I wasn’t sure if taking notes in was seen as negative.
        I really don’t want to appear anxious and if I have to make sustained eye contact I will find it more difficult to remember my answers.

      • #145644
        Bananaboat
        Participant

        It shows you’re prepared in my eyes and that you’re seriously interested in the position, plus it saves those awkward (perfectly normal!!) moments of silence and thinking time. A good interviewer will know you’re nervous and hopefully put you at ease by asking how your journey was, the weather, that kind of thing x

      • #145649
        velvet-ribbon
        Participant

        Thank you, thats good to know.
        I literally have nothing to wear, as I have put a bit of weight on and nothing fits. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this and I haven’t got access to money for clothes. I’m feeling so down about this whole thing and so isolated.

    • #145658
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      A few months ago i started my first job since being married. We have a business together but i need something of my own so i can save my own money as he watches what i spend. I have no self confidence in fact i dont like me very much at all.
      I got the job and since then have been given some great opportunities. I have to fight him every single day to go to work he makes it almoat impossible but I go. Its the best thing ive done in a very long time.
      Pretend, at your interview pretend to be a more confident you, still be you thats important but pretend/tell yourself you can do this you are worthy you do deserve this say it over and over again go yourself. Wear your lucky pants or a top that means something special I popped a rose quartz crystal in my pocket and wore my favourite xmas socks anything to make you feel safe.
      You got this you really have.
      Let us know how it goes xxxxx

      • #145669
        velvet-ribbon
        Participant

        Nbumblebee thank you so much. I am trying to think positive about it. I’m preparing some answers now, and I must try to remember that before I met him I used to be good in interviews and I had a successful career. I can’t wait to be able to have hopes and dreams again.

        Congratulations on getting your job and on your success. You sound like a very strong person.

        Thank you for the tips, I will try to find some lucky item I can take with me, and of course will keep you posted on how it goes.

        Thanks again both of you x*x

    • #145698
      Bananaboat
      Participant

      Let us know how it goes ❤️

      • #145707
        velvet-ribbon
        Participant

        Hi, thanks for your good wishes everyone.
        I’ve had the interview and now I have the agonising wait to find out if I got the job.

        I was interviewed by multiple people so it did feel quite intimidating. I tried my best to answer the questions but don’t feel I really sold myself. They were friendly and I didn’t say anything too embarrassing. I came out of it feeling quite positive but when i got back I realised I probably messed up in a few areas.

        I’m dreading the call and hearing that I have been unsuccessful. I start feeling hopeless and that there will never be any way out.

        I wish I could feel more positive about this.

      • #145708
        Bananaboat
        Participant

        Well done!

        If you don’t get it, don’t get disheartened it just means someone else had different skills or experience NOT that you couldn’t do the job. See it as a great experience and on to the next. It’s natural to think of all the things you could’ve said afterwards, but you can’t change anything now. Fingers crossed for good news 😊

      • #145709
        velvet-ribbon
        Participant

        Thank you ❤

    • #145710
      longjourneylife
      Participant

      Well done for trying! It may take a few interviews before the right job comes along, or you might get this one. It’s all good practice anyway (maybe even quite a few before getting one that is a good fit.) You’re stepping forward, that’s a huge thing to be doing, congrats on showing up and doing your best, no one can ask for more than that xx

    • #145713
      nbumblebee
      Participant

      You give yourself a huge well done sweetie took so so much courage for you to even go be proud of that big step you took.
      If not this one then the next one right. Baby steps foward.
      Well done a huge well done.

    • #145714
      Scarecrow
      Participant

      Well done Velvet-ribbon, you should be so proud of yourself! You faced a fear, were scare but did it anyway! I really hope you got the job!

    • #145719
      velvet-ribbon
      Participant

      Thanks so much everyone for your encouragement ❤

    • #145741
      velvet-ribbon
      Participant

      I can’t believe it, I actually got offered the job!
      Thanks so much everyone for encouraging me.
      I’m not sure what to do now about telling my husband. He won’t try to physically stop me going but I’m expecting some repercussions in some way through his behaviour towards me, and he is already financially controlling. Does that make sense? The start date is a while off so i don’t know if it’s better to delay telling him. Also I made the mistake of telling him a while back that I would consider leaving if I had the means.

      • #145748
        nbumblebee
        Participant

        YES WHOO HOO GO YOU. Ahh wow i am so chuffed for you so heres what i did and do.
        I didnt tell him at all until i started then I told him I had been offered a job and i start today. Then i went and sat in my car for a bit b4 i started i disnt want him ranting at me b4 my first day. I set up a private bank account to put in my wages. I then pop in some into our joint so he sees it but i keep some back as a savings net in case…
        Every day i woek he moans he tries to stop me he is nasty so nasty when i get home so prepare yourself. I get organised i do dinner prep lunch prep all night b4 so its all good to go i clean etc whwn i finish work as i finish mostly b4 him. I try not to give him a chance to moan but he still finds things. You gotta be tough mine hates me working and im not even allowed to talk about my day which is tough but its something i cope with as i love and need my job.
        I cant tell you its get easier but i can tell you to be strong dig deep be proud of who you are what youve done stick with it cause this could be the best thing youve done this could be the start for you.
        A huge huge well done we are all here so proud of you sweetie.
        Now go be amazing xxxxxxx

      • #145755
        Bananaboat
        Participant

        Amazing well done!!!

        He won’t be happy whatever you do so remember you can’t change that. This is something YOU want and need. For now enjoy the high, he can wait for another day xx

    • #145769
      velvet-ribbon
      Participant

      Thank you all so much. Your kind and supportive words have been so helpful.

      You are all amazing ❤

    • #145772
      longjourneylife
      Participant

      Literally so happy for you! Congratulations, well done! And you know it’s stuff competition, so given your circumstances, what a qudos to You!
      Get that separate bank account and start planning for your future, it will not include him, so look after your needs now x*x

    • #145777
      Gerbil
      Participant

      Fantastic news Velvet Ribbon….well done x

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