- This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 4 months ago by Cecile.
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1st October 2019 at 10:40 pm #88977HeasvHeartParticipant
Hi Ladies
I haven’t posted on here for a while but I have been reading and thinking of you all.
I can’t believe how much has changed since I found you and I wanted to let you know it does get better.
I am free. I am happy. And I am getting stronger each day.
To those of you thinking of leaving, it will be the hardest thing you do but it will be worth it.
To those of you who have left and can’t stop thinking about him and worrying if you’ve made the right decision…you have and over time you think about him less and less.
There are bumps in the road and I still have them and I’m sure there are more to come but the clarity and peace I have now, is something I didn’t realise I didn’t have.
The more you are away the more you can see things for what they are.
I have an excellent therapist and great friends who I lean on.
I have re-read why does he do that and living with the dominator and I recommend doing this because the further out of the FOG you are, the more you can relate and understand what’s happening.
Anyway I just wanted to send and share a little love and strength as it can feel very desperate and impossible. I have gone from feeling my absolute worst to discovering a person I had forgotten I was. You’ve got this ladies ❤
To those who helped me when I needed it, I owe you my life and sanity – I will never forget what you’ve done for me xxxx -
2nd October 2019 at 11:05 am #88995EscapeeParticipant
It’s so wonderful and reassuring when there’s a post from someone that has made the huge leap, rode out the daunting recovery and finally found themselves.
Thank you xxxx
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8th October 2019 at 7:02 pm #89388HopeLifeJoyParticipant
Yes thank you for sharing your positive post, it’s reassuring to read there is happiness within reach and very happy for you.
thank you I needed to read this today. -
9th October 2019 at 10:04 pm #89460HeasvHeartParticipant
I really hope it happens for many more of us soon. It’s really hard to get through the desperate times and it really does feel like it’s a mistake and life couldn’t possibly be any better without them. When I used to read updates about how free people felt, I just couldn’t imagine it and I felt like I had put myself in a sad and lonely position that I didn’t need to be on….even though I did and it was right to go through it.
I used to think I’d got my relationship wrong but it’s amazing how much more you realise when you are clear and away from it.
This forum helped me so so so much and we should all keep posting (someone on here can always help and always has experience of the same thing) xxxx -
11th October 2019 at 7:57 pm #89530CamelParticipant
Thank you so much for your positive message. It’s true that when you’re ‘in it’ it can seem impossible to imagine a happy life outside.
It’s as if life with an abuser takes place inside a tiny room with curtains pulled tight and he’s got control of the light switch. No wonder we can’t see what’s right in front of us. Recovery is like inching back the curtains and gradually letting the light in. We might end up going back but it will be easier to leave next time, once we know how bright it is out there. x
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12th October 2019 at 8:39 pm #89559DamagedGoodsParticipant
What an awesome post. It should be tagged for all to read. Inspiration for all the lassies that need to hear it CAN be done. No matter what HE tells you, you CAN do it.
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7th November 2019 at 12:13 am #90923IwantmebackParticipant
Hi HvH, I’m so verra happy that you are out too. Your post is so positive too. I still have days where I doubt myself, that I’ve misjudged him, then he shows himself and I’m glad I no longer live with him.
We definitely minimise their behaviour and unless we have a hard copy of it we wouldn’t remember a third of what they’d done to us. To hear my oh you’d think nothing had happened that was so bad to cause us to break up. No longer being in love with someone is enough to end a relationship. It’s getting them to accept it’s over that’s the hard part. Well once he gets the divorce papers,then he’ll need to accept it and by then I’ll have moved out of the area.
Best wishes and many thanks for sharing your thoughts
IWMB 💞💞 -
7th November 2019 at 1:44 pm #90951CecileParticipant
Thanks posts like these are so very very important, I.m.o, helps keep me o. Track and focused. I hope others find them inspiring as well.
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