- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 5 months ago by
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This is a tactic, he wants you to think you’ve torn it I’m gone, feel panicked and rejected, so self doubt and the emotional pain kicks in, highly likely he might be thinking/hoping you’ll be begging to have him back in no time and if not he’ll be intouch for some more nastiness during the seperation / divorce. There will be a full range of manipulation tactics and controlling behaviour to follow in one form or another once he realises you are not going to do what he wants you to do.
In the grown up world, when we genuinely care about someone we want to end the relationship properly and with care, especially after this length of time, so we do it gradually, carefully, discuss it together and plan how it will be, what needs to be done and when, and try to make sure the other is as ok as possible. The end is never abrubt.
Not here hey. He’s playing a tactical game. Let him crack on, do what he’s got to do and think what he likes.
What’s important here is you are done, you’ve decided this is right for you and needed – however it did finally play out in the end. You dont have the hassle and the upheavel of finding a new place yourself, but you need to make your home safe now so he cant get back in. Don’t be fooled into thinking this is it, this is more the next phase, step one towards getting rid of him.
Yes it’s normal, in that this is typical behaviour of an abuser. He wants you to feel shocked and stunned, bereft. When we can prepare for any ending, even when it is the death of a loved one, we can manage it better, whereas the shock of a sudden death is much harder to deal with – this is emotional abuse – he’s intentionally trying to cause you maximum distress x
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Try to stay in front and focused on what needs to happen here for you. Remember, they are often more dangerous and step up their game when they start to realise its over for you x
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Yes that is exactly what he wants you to do M – he’s manipulating your emotions without a care in the world about what this does to you and your mental health. It’s awful isn’t it. If you take him back now he will only continue and get worse because he knows he can do what he likes and you wont end it. You’ve drawn the line now, he will try to trample it and carry on so it’s up to you to stand firm. You will be ok, ride it all out and make you and what you need your priority x
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