Just need a place to rant

[Lovemyweecat]

Hi all,
As far as I’m aware I have never posted on here but when I tried to sign in it said I already had an account. Here goes, I am so fed up of this life if you can call it that. I am sick fed up being ignored or made to feel like a bit of s**t. I work only part time as I care for a close family member who is terminally ill. They won’t acceot help from no one else so I’m limited to what hours etc I can do. Before this I had a good paying job . When I was leaving there hubby said oh it’s fine you don’t need to work. I hate being reliant on him or anyone so I took this to job.
He pays all the bills, I pay for my son school, clothes, his phone, my car insurance and petrol. I literally have nothing left from the very little I get.
But now it’s all fell on hubby to pay rent etc he cannot remind me often enough and (detail removed by moderator) ago I had enough. He hadn’t spoken to me since , I said I was sick fed up of him counting every penny and for weeks I had no more than £2 in my purse yet he thought it was acceptable to come in and tell me he had blown (detail removed by moderator) in the bookies. His reply to that was well get a better job and help me pay, he can do as he likes as he works.
I actually cannot stand him and wish he would leave but he won’t. (detail removed by moderator) of him not speaking. He looks like he could explode at any minute. Apparently I can’t cook or clean properly either and I feel he goes out of his way to humiliate me, he asked me to pub the other week there and (detail removed by moderator)
This probably doesn’t sound bad really but believe me it is, I am so fed up. I actually wish he would meet someone else and disappear forever. Meant to add, he got hands on my credit card ( it’s only a small limit) and added it to a betting site. Thankfully he didn’t use much before I noticed it and because he was getting money paid into my bank he was betting every single day however if I mentioned it, it was his money? That wasn’t the issue, the issue was the constant betting site showing on my bank statement every day.

There’s more to his moods than I’m able to explain on here. I’m just fed up and had enough.
Thanks, if you got this far.

[Doris]

Hi Lovemyweecat, of course you can rant – we’ll all listen and not interrupt. We’ve all had a good old rant. It’s very hard living with covert emotional abuse and even identifying it. I used to think my h. was just bad tempered and lost it now and then but I’ve lost count how many times I’ve left the house in a state of emotional distress and gone for long walks or sat in the car wondering why he treats me like his worst enemy one minute and his greatest love the next. Since completing the online Freedom Programme, joining a peer group locally and learning about covert DA I’ve come to identify his behaviour as typical of the abuser. I have challenged him and he has totally denied doing anything hurtful or manipulative. Because it is covert it is very difficult to describe when he demands examples. It has reached a head tonight but I am not backing down because of what I now know. It is impossible to stay in this relationship because there are just no excuses any more. Learn everything there is about covert emotional abuse, keep a journal, try and record the foul language, negativity, rants etc. ‘Why does he do that’ by Lundy Bancroft is good and I discovered a new website yesterday that focusses entirely on covert abuse and not physical – Confusion to Clarity – hope we’re allowed to add sites. Take care. X*X

[Lovemyweecat]

Hi Doris
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I will have a wee look online at covert abuse, I’ve never heard of it before. You sound like me, I’d love to just disappear, if only it was that easy. It doesn’t matter what I say to him, he’s never wrong and when he speaks he actually looks like he hates me and I actually feel that way about him right now. It’s as though he enjoys making my life a misery.
It’s the fact that’s hes now trying to make me look stupid in front of people I know and how embarrassed that makes me feel.
My daughter (she’s older) knows so much of this and she’s forever telling me to get rid of him. If only he would go, I’m sure you know yourself, if he did, I would be the bad one.
Anyway, thanks again for taking the time to read and reply x

[Author]

Posts