Just need to vent

[Better-days]

I don’t know how much of my post will be removed but I (detail removed by moderator). This is why I’m still in this shitshow of a relationship like I know the abuse could go from bad to worse and putting anyone at more risk from him is killing me but I’m so close to leaving and this has been such a setback for me now i can’t get her out of my head. I know that my partner will in a way make sure I don’t have a life if I leave.
I am due to go away   for a holiday all of us.  My family r going and I’m dreading every minute of it it’s actually making me unwell  and everyone else can’t wait. Why have I even agreed to this. I feel so anxious about this trip. If I were to leave him before this comes around can I take my kids on holiday on a flight or can he stop me taking them.  They r looking forward to it but their dad is just the most miserable moaniest disrespectful person ever and we have paid so much money for this I am so worried he is going to ruin it for everyone. I am so ashamed of myself for letting me get to this stage I have disconnected myself from him so much and the more I have the worse he is he craves my attention and I just don’t have it in me to give him any and he’s sits about feeling sorry for himself. I wish he would find someone who’s head over heals for him like he done before then it will make it easier for me to leave he’s had affairs our whole relationship but not for the past (detail removed by Moderator) years and I have been expected to step in now and be the one to boost his ego but I can’t.
sorry to rabble this n I just need someone to talk to xx

[Better-days]

Also I need to add we both work own our home joined. He earns (detail removed by moderator) but I pay my half of bills plus absolutely everything for kids clothes ect so I spend all my money ages every month while he has enough in his account to buy (detail removed by moderator). He never says he won’t give me anything and I can take his bank cars and use it so people may think that’s ok but It’s not like that he makes me feel like I’m taking his money moans ect. So I only will if I don’t have any money. I went to apply for a house they were asking about my income any benefits ect but I couldn’t really answer this because if we r not together I will likely be entitled to some sort of benefit which may help but if I was to apply just now we r living together so I couldn’t do that can someone tell me at what stage they applied for any benefit. I’m worried if I do it before they officially moved out or if this will get me into some sort of financial trouble.
thanks

[Lisa]

Hi Better-days,

I’m glad that you have this space to vent in and I hope that getting it out helped too.

Here’s some information on travelling with children from Coram’s Child Law Advice website that you might find helpful.

For support with planning to leave and coping with any ongoing abuse during and after, you could reach out to your local domestic abuse service. Many local domestic abuse services can help with benefits advice and budgeting. Citizens Advice can also provide benefits advice and Turn2Us have a benefits calculator on the website where you can see how much you would be entitled to in different theoretical circumstances.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Better-days]

Thanks Lisa this is very helpful x

[Karisqq]

Hey my dm is open if you really want to vent! I’ll be online everyday so if you really wanna talk to sb you can always send me a msg

[Author]

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