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I am struggling today.
I was fine when I first woke up. I need to point out that I am not bothered about it being Valentines day at all today!
But I got a text (timeframe removed by Moderator) from my ex and I just started crying! And have been crying on and off all day.
Then, (timeframe removed by Moderator), some flowers were delivered to my house from him. And I’m a mess!
I don’t know if I’m crying because he sent the flowers or crying because it will probably be the last time he sends me flowers!
I don’t doubt I made the right decision in leaving. I can see everything so much more clearly now. I’m making peace with how long I put up with it. I am massively struggling with how it seems to be never ending- we have a child together so can’t go non-contact.
I keep thinking about how romantic he was and how thoughtful. It doesn’t make sense that he could have been behaving in a controlling way on purpose. But his actions and behaviour over the years and years happened. I know it. Deep down I know it.
Were the point of the flowers to let the doubt creep in?
Just needed to vent
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