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    • #103352
      Kitkat44
      Participant

      Hello all, title says it all really,
      If I’m sad or down I make him anxious (ha! Never mind how I or the children feel if he’s angry)
      I’m accused of withdrawing and being cold and unaffectionate.
      It wears me out and I don’t want the children to pick up on it but i know they go because that’s the way it works and they start getting irritable with each other and acting up, being unkind and whiny. It just overwhelms me.
      Thank goodness for here.
      Xx

    • #103353
      KIP.
      Participant

      It doesn’t matter how or what you are, he will just change the goal posts and abuse you over that. He enjoys abusing you and keeping you on edge. The man who is supposed to love and protect you is actually the one who is choosing to destroy you piece by piece, and it always gets worse. There is nothing wrong with your behaviour. You’re exhausted trying to keep one step ahead to avoid more abuse but that’s an impossibility when his primary goal is abuse. You could be the most perfect partner and he would simply invent stuff to abuse you over. Abuse is how he lives. How he functions and how he gets great satisfaction. I remember seeing my ex smirk after an outburst. That tiny movement of his lips said it all. A huge act. Oscar winning performances. Don’t waste your energy chasing your tail. Take a step back. Build your own life and build a support network around you. Take back control. Speak to women’s aid. Your children learn from the behaviour they see x

    • #103355
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      KIP is right! It doesn’t matter what you say or do he will always find fault. They’re waiting and pushing you into impossible situations hoping your react. It’s really difficult not to, and I don’t mean physically I mean emotionally! He wants you to withdraw, to hide, to cry because then he once again can control you because you have no energy left to fight.

      It’s really hard because like KIP says you except him to love and support you but it won’t happen. Make sure you protect yourself, have a safe place and people ready to act on your behalf if you need them to.

      Otherwise I’m sending hope, warm hugs and as much strength as I can to you to hopefully see there is a bright future.

      Stay safe

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