- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by diymum@1.
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14th February 2021 at 7:49 pm #121706raindewParticipant
So I broke up with my abuser (detail removed by Moderator) ago but he kept sending me messages and ringing my sister and mother so we all blocked him. I sent him an email (detail removed by Moderator) explaining to him why I left him, I said I was afraid of him then asked him to stop contacting my family members. I probably shouldn’t have sent him an email but I felt guilty for ending it via text to him so wanted to explain.
He sent me an email back saying he is broken and I at least owe him a phone call so he can explain. I’m not strong enough to hear his voice so I have ignored his reply.
I’m afraid I’ve made him angry. He said after everything we’ve been through I owe him and if I truly loved him I would answer his calls.
Him saying that has made me uncomfortable and scared.
Is what he said part of the manipulation/abuse? -
14th February 2021 at 10:37 pm #121709KIP.Participant
Yes it’s all part of the manipulation. That’s why zero contact is so important. Zero contact is zero manipulation. You’ve asked him not to contact you again. If he persists then please contact the police. It’s harrassment and stalking. You’re scared for a reason. Trust your gut. Talk to the police for some advice. You can also ring the national domestic abuse helpline x these men try all sorts of tactics to draw us back in. Trying to make us feel guilty or obligated and fearful. Don’t fall into his trap. You owe him nothing.
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15th February 2021 at 12:13 am #121714HettyParticipant
Kip is right. You owe him nothing. Feeling guilt from them only harms us and makes it more painful to move on. I know that’s easier said than done though. Even if you were to talk to him, what would it achieve? You’d only be listening to gas lighting and love bombing. You’ve no doubt heard it all before. You’re right to protect yourself. None of this is your fault. We don’t ask to be abused. How quickly they turn the tables when they feel their control slipping away.
I had to talk to my ex to sort out some practical matters. I got it done but also had to listen to all the pleading and blaming. Being accused of being cold blah blah. Avoid him like the plague. Keep focused on you. If you feel unsafe or if he tries in any other way to make contact then report him. You’re in control now. Stay strong x*x -
17th February 2021 at 1:41 pm #121851diymum@1Participant
This is very entitled of him have a look on Google about entitlement- abuse xx you owe him nothing my darling protect yourself and your family now xx
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