laid crying

[betterdays]

I’ve just recently been to solicitors to get a letter sent to him as he’s driving past my sons school blowing his horn (detail removed by moderaor). Over a year out and still haunted by him been crying as it’s coming tumbling back down on me all the past. My family are funny with me because I won’t let them domineer me anymore and I’ve taken back control of my life. It never goes away just when u think u are making progress bang it’s back to haunt you again xx

[SaharaD]

Hi Betterdays

Sorry this has all upset you. I recommend a book by Lundy Bancroft: called the battered as parent. I think it has some tips on how to deal with abusive fathers.

It’s likely that he won’t let go regarding the children so it’s worth just trying to soothe the after effects of his behaviour towards the children.

I hope they are not too distressed.

Take care.

[Serenity]

Hi Betterdays,

I know how you feel. I am still having to suffer my ex hooting from his van and attempting to intimidate me. I have had to distance myself a bit from certain family members.

Are you taking time to rest and- at the same time- getting support and trying to try something new to expand your horizons?

It’s easy to get stuck feeling hurt. I know. Little changes. And don’t forget the self-care.

Unfortunately, not everyone in this world is as we would like them to be and not everyone is a decent person. It is very sad and upsetting. But we need to try not to take on too much, to feel responsible for it all. We can only cope with our own 24 hours.

Make a gentle and easy plan to move in the direction you want, and if you have a day feeling tearful and not wanting to do anything, that’s ok too.

Xx

[betterdays]

Thanks ladies I just feel like this black cloud just won’t leave me ever. I will always be haunted I still feel I’m with him still not got over it don’t think i never will. It’s the most difficult thing ever. Especially when you don’t have a family. I’m struggling scared xx

[Peaceful Pig]

Me too better days. Our situations seem to ve at similar points in the process. I’ve just had a long sobbing session following a day filled with full on meltdowns, house trashing, school refusal etc all caused by their father and his ongoing nasty behaviour. Being a single parent with autistic kids, a job and no support is quite challenging enough but if the abuse would just stop I’d feel I was walking on air in comparison. How do you get over something that hasn’t stopped happening? I’m sorry I can’t offer you any positivity tonight, the supply has been exhausted for now, but I can give you heaps of empathy and thank you for helping me feel less alone xx

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

U will overcome this , we all deal with abuse in differnet ways and progress in differnet ways, soon as i have to discuss ex with solicitors my stomach knotts up and my mood shoots down, we have to retrain ourselves not to let ehm get to us, i was reading a email from ex today via solciitors and just burst into tears and felt like giving up then i consoled myself and said this is exactly what he wants,i composed myself and replied to email, ignore him when he t***s, mine used to blow me kisses whilst returning kids, i useddd dto just roll my eyes or ignore him then burst into hysterics of laughter in shock when i closed the door

[Author]

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