Last stage of greif – Acceptance

[healingbutterflybabe]

I’ve woken up today, and realised after a few years. I’ve finally got to the acceptance stage of grief – I’m sitting with the hurt and releasing it through crying and journaling, I’ve sat with the shock, I’ve sat with the pain. I’ve accepted I was abused, gaslight, manipulated. I’ve accepted abuse is not love.

I’ve accepted and forgiven myself for loving such a monster, and seen it as a representation and a compliment of how deeply I can love.

And I’m finally seeing the joy of the future, a future and freedom from abuse. It feels like my heart is finally saying “Let go, you can now let go. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay”.

I’m no longer resisting the reality of the situation, I’m not trying to change it or rewrite history. I no longer have the urge to ring him, or check his social media. We’ve had zero contact for a while now. I’m safe. I’m free.

My first love was very powerful but very very f*cked up and toxic, and I can now take what I’ve learnt from it and from recovery, to be able to have healthy romantic relationships when I am eventually ready.

There’s no going back. I’m no longer his property and he is no longer mine. I’m not alone, I’ve got me, I’ve got God, I’ve got this forum, I’ve got my family and my friends.

As painful as it is, there’s now a light in the dark. I’m feeling a weight lift off my chest.

We’re all going to be okay. One day the light will shine for you again too.

[nbumblebee]

Wow this made me cry such heartfelt words.💜

[healingbutterflybabe]

It was really purely from my heart, I was crying as I wrote it 💜
It felt really raw and I wanted to share with other survivors.

[nbumblebee]

Well i dont see myself as a survivor but your post certainly hit me it was beautiful thank you for sharing I hope you continue to heal and grow much love xxxxxx

[liftingthefog]

Wow well done you.
What an inspiring post, I’m still in acceptance faze with probably half the boxes ticked that you mention.
The others that I am still questioning? Your post has inspired me to continue this painful journey to the small but growing light at the other side.
Thank you.
🤗xx

[healingbutterflybabe]

Thank you Goldenretrieveher 💜

It really has taken me a few years and a lot of going back to him, and more heartbreak to get to this point. The only thing that seems to work is no contact and it’s honestly like withdrawing. It’s really hard, and everyone has their own timeline with healing and recovery.

I’m really really glad my post has helped to inspire you to continue on this painful journey, it will all be worth it for all of us and it’s our power and choice now. We can all do this. Together 💜.

Big hugs 🤗🤗🤗

I read this today:
“The saddest end to a relationship is the one where you have to break up with sombody or leave when you’re still in love with them, trauma bonded or connected in some way. It sounds bizarre but it happens, because the truth is, as powerful as it may be, being in love or having a bond doesn’t always equal happiness. You can continue to love someone even after they’ve hurt you, but you know deep inside that it won’t ever be the same again”.

[Kitkat44]

This is beautiful! So moving. I have had a fair few wobbles, haven’t been out very long but the peace and freedom and sense of safety is just bliss!
Xx

[healingbutterflybabe]

Thank you. It was straight from my heart in a very painful moment. I hear you, and appreciate that. Wobbles will come and go, like waves of the sea. It’s about learning to surf on top instead of drowning. Well done for leaving, it’s b****y hard. Peace is so worth it! Hugs 🤗🤗🤗

[nbumblebee]

Love this @kitkat44 hang on to that lush feeling peace, freedom and safety 💜💜

[healingbutterflybabe]

Thank you all for taking the time to read my post, I really appreciate it. 🤗🤗🤗

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