Last straw

[shine bright 2]

Moved from prison to psych until. Unrestricted access to phone. I’m scared and upset.

[KIP.]

You have every right to be upset. Take some time to let it sink in then email or write a letter of complaint. Makes sure you have your restraining order up to date and report every contact should he be stupid enough to try. You’re much stronger now. You’re not the same woman. Hopefully he won’t have your numbers. If it makes you feel safer then change them again x hang in there. He’s not your responsibility. Let the professionals deal with him. Deep breaths x

[shine bright 2]

I’m so tired. I did everything they told me to do. Now they are asking about changing my name and all this…but he’s able to play the system. Been so happy.but now old feelings are back.

[Lisa]

Hi Shinebright2,

I just wanted to send you my support. As mentioned you have every right to be upset. The professionals should still be safeguarding you and the children in this situation. Its no wonder you feel tired but you have done everything you can to be safe.

It is their responsibility to make sure he can’t contact you.

Best Wishes,

Lisa

[KIP.]

Hey, it’s just another hurdle to get over that’s all. Today’s situation is not your final destination. Someone posted that on here. I think it’s a good way to look at it. I went anonymous on the voters role. Went back to my maiden name and love it. Your kids are still young I think so they won’t mind. Stay strong x

[shine bright 2]

Thanks.
It changes everything though. He torturers me because he was mad, he raped me.because he was ill. Or at least that’s what he’s made people believe. And that means a different route…not prison. He’s going to kill me for what I did…for putting there. There you go I said it….I whispered what I fear the most.

[Confused123]

Hun

Slowly he is losing control, u are putting measures in to protect yourself and speaking up, that is the best thing u can do to reach our for support, could u change your no again. One way or another he will face punishment for what he did , hopefully he stays locked up in the psych unit if not prison, his life will still be hell for what he did to u

[shine bright 2]

I feel responsible. I put him there. Like u made him crazy…maybe I drive him that way…but really I don’t think he is but this is a way for him to not be responsible. Now I’m thinking if a mentally I’ll person beats you so hard you bleed is it their fault..can u still hate them? If he was ill maybe he can’t be blamed for raping me over and over. But I can’t live without that. I have to be able to attend someone for what happened to me. I’m. Struggling.

[KIP.]

Did he rape and beat random women. No. He saved his abuse purely for you. He chose to abuse you. He was very much in control when he did this. He can control himself when he wants. And he can control his temper around everyone else. That makes him an abuser. Don’t make,excuses for,him.

[White Rose]

Hi there shine bright
Don’t forget how terrified you were and how unsure of yourself you were when you first posted here and compare that with the strong woman you are today.
Yes you provided evidence to “put him away” but you weren’t the judge and jury so don’t get back into your old bad habits and start blaming yourself for everything otherwise I’ll have to give you a firm talking to again!!! You are amazing in what you’ve achieved and how you’ve started living again so don’t give into self doubt, don’t blame yourself and don’t take your frustrations and anger out on yourself.
In my eyes you’re one of the strongest women on here and I would love to come and give you a massive bunch of flowers and a great big hug and reassure you face to face that you are not in this alone – use your support network and professionals and us and don’t let the ******* get you down!
Hang on in there, report anything you feel is suspicious and keep that light shining brightly xxxx

[shine bright 2]

Ahhh…thanks for the lovely comments. I think u r right KIP, he was very controlled and manipulative. And he chose to.hurt me and not others. Not sure why this has hit me So hard really. He’s been on remand along time, but it still feels like he influences my life…although I’m trying to change that. I have recently started to feel clean again…this is a.massive thing for me and I don’t want anything to change that. I guess it made me question everything. The time he gave me such a savage beating I’m wondering was he unwell and dunt know what he was doing….but I think he did. He knew exactly. Maybe being ill is a good way of avoiding responsibility.
Thanks for the comments sometimes they keep.me.going

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