Leaving 😞

[Novaxx0]

My girlfriend (same sex couple)  has some pretty bad anger issues and blames me for everything that goes wrong no matter what it’s my fault, everything I do is wrong in her eyes, has been physically and emotionally abusing me for years last (timeframe removed by Moderator) assaulted me ended up with a domestic violence protection order but I stupidly told the police she didn’t do anything as I was scared. She also (detail of assault removed by Moderator). No matter what I do I just can’t leave.
she tells the police I’m the problem and I’m starting to believe it, she says no one will believe me over her as I’ve sometimes reacted in defence to get her off me now she’s turned around and told me she will tell the police I assaulted her which I didn’t 😞 I’m a very polite person never been in trouble with the law and she has endless criminal assault and damage records for other people due to her anger issues, she’s treats other people horribly but she says the police won’t believe me, she will always switch moods blowing hot and cold on me and turning into a horrible nasty person with no warning in a split second. To her family she can’t do no wrong and I’m to blame always for her behaviour, there have also been other incident’s off her assaulting me and I have loads off photos. I have no friends really no job anymore due to her always threatening to kill herself  so I end up leaving work all the time which is my own fault I know but I can’t explain the hold she has over me, I ended up moving out from her  and getting my own place but there’s still no escape she will invite me back round being all nice and me being stupid will go, she will then turn around start an argument and tell me to leave and ring the police saying I’m refusing to leave when I’m literally packing my bags to go, how do I leave this relationship I honestly can’t take it anymore, my mental health has got so bad and I have no support. I’m honestly such a kindhearted person and used to work (job removed by Moderator) but my confidence has gone I’m exhausted from it all.
she calls me a n********t and an abuser  but all I do is apologise to her even when I feel I don’t need to just to keep the peace, the names she calls me is horrible tells me to drop dead, fat b****h and to go to d*e

 

any advise on how  to leave please 😞

[Lisa]

Hi Novaxx0,

Thank you for sharing with us. It takes such courage to talk about abuse, you are doing the right thing by reaching out for support. The abuse you are experiencing sounds really distressing and exhausting for you. Unfortunately it is common for abusive people to turn things around to blame the other person to shift responsibility and to maintain control- you haven’t done anything to cause her behaviour and you definitely do not deserve to be treated in this way.

Have you had any contact with your local domestic abuse service before? The local services can often offer ongoing emotional and practical support to explore options and make a plan based on your circumstances. They won’t tell you what to do or put pressure on you to do anything until you feel ready. If you feel this support would be helpful your local service can be found here.

We also have our Live Chat service if you would like to talk confidentially about your situation with a Women’s Aid Support Worker. Live Chat is currently open Mon-Fri 8am-4pm via here.

Do keep posting to us when you are able to, we understand and are here to support you.

Take care,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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