Leaving

[Myname]

I know everyone has different situations, I want to leave him but he’s in my home, iv asked him to leave he doesn’t go, gets angry about it, calls me names etc , i just don’t know what way to turn, we have a (detail removed by Moderator) year old, he said I’m taking his child away from him which I wouldn’t do, so if I leave with my child he will assume I’m taking him away.. I just feel stuck

[Lisa]

Hi Myname,

I’m sorry you’re feeling so trapped. Abusers aim to rob you of control, taking your choices away, and it can be difficult to see a way through. Have you had any support with what’s happening? Domestic abuse services will focus on empowering you by letting you know about the different options that are available to you so that you can make an informed decision about what you want to happen. For example, if you’re not married and he isn’t on the tenancy agreement or mortgage, he has no right to be in your home if you don’t want him there. The police can support you to remove him.

You could contact our Live Chat service to discuss your situation in more detail and talk through your options with a Woman’s Aid worker or you could reach out to your local domestic abuse service for support.

Abusers don’t like to give up their control and often use children as a way to keep this, making threats or accusations as a way to prevent women from leaving through fear or guilt. Your safety and wellbeing are vital for you and your child and it’s him who has created the situation that means you’re thinking about leaving. You don’t owe him sacrificing your safety to protect him from assumptions he might make.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Myname]

Iv had no support or other than talking to friends, iv not spoke to any professionals, im so nervous about having police involved, we aren’t married or on the tenancy agreement, iv asked him to leave he won’t go but he will go about as if nothing is wrong , we aren’t intimate, I can’t go out with my friends , I can’t even go for lunch or a catch up without having to take my child or he will not be happy, he smokes weed makes him angry when he doesn’t have it

[Bananaboat]

Hello, gosh I had all this. It’s more tactics I’m afraid. They won’t leave – why would they, you’re his supply. So, as horrible as it feels you have to be selfish and do what’s right for you. He’s an adult and can find his own place to live, pay his bills etc. When you say you’re not on the tenancy agreement is it possible for you to leave & find somewhere new? Maybe speak to your local housing department. It’s funny with abuse as we don’t like to bother people or ask for help but they know that, and use it to keep you trapped. Don’t be afraid to contact woman’s aid helpline if you don’t want to involve the police or social services, start somewhere you do feel comfortable xx

[Author]

Posts