Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It can be really confusing trying to break free from an abusive relationship. Abusive men never take responsbility for their behaviour and will often blame their partners. Once you are ready to leave- it is best to leave and cut or limit the contact as much as possible.
I would encourage you to link in with your local domestic abuse service. they can support you with a safe plan to leave.