Left but feels like it still abusive

[FinallyMe]

So I escaped (detail removed by Moderator) with my kids. Because of police involvement my solicotor (detail removed by Moderator). He has then decided he wants full custody and accused
E of abuse! That has lead to me been investigated at work because I have a DBS. He is still lording it up at the house, not paying child support. So I have had to uproot kids, cannot even at the moment apply for jobs because of the investigations. Then he video chats everyday and I have to monitor it so have to hear his voice everyday! Despite been out it feels like he still has the upper hand in everything! It is just so hard.

[KIP.]

Keep all the evidence you can of his abuse. The false accusations etc. Can you stop all contact at the moment. Let him take you tomcourt for access? Speak to your GP and tell them that contact with this man is triggering for you and causes you huge crippling anxiety? If you cannot stop all contact with the kids. Can a third party act as a buffer? A family member? There are ways round this if you think outside the box. Ring the helpline number on here. My ex carried on his abuse and I gathered the evidence I needed. They are so arrogant they think they can get away with it. Play the long game and he will trip himself up. Eventually, you just need to sit back and watch.

[KIP.]

If there is already police involvement you may be able to get a civil court order to prevent contact if bail conditions don’t cover this. Any contact with these men is toxic to us and if you can evidence this by reporting it to your GP I think you can keep him out of your life.

[Amaguq]

Hi FinallyMe,

KIP’s given excellent advice like always.

My Ex thinks he’s got the upper hand, that is what controllers do, manipulate at the first opportunity.

Take care xx

[FinallyMe]

Thank you. (detail removed by Moderator) so hoping that will sort things. Just really scared because he can be so charming and believable. No bail or anything yet as he has not been questioned. I did try a non molestation order but because there had been a time gap between last incident and application they would not do it.

[KIP.]

Hi, you can ask the police for a supporting statement from the latest incident to take to civil court. Don’t give up. Get a supporting letter from your GP stating that contact is causing you great anxiety, affecting your mental health and ability to function. You fear for your safety but are too traumatised to move from your home. My ex was charming and actually had a high profile job working with the public. The police and courts still saw right through his lies. Seems to be only us they have a spell over. Once the rose tinited glasses come off it’s amazing how ugly these men truely are x

[Author]

Posts