Left but I’m struggling

[Butterflyz]

Hi everyone,
I left a few days ago after an incident and I am staying with family for the time being.
I am struggling. I want to go back home so badly.
My husband is begging me to go back. He is broken. Promises it won’t happen again.
I want to go home but I want him gone.
Our child has been so happy where we are staying but today says they want to go home to Daddy. They have been so terribly upset this evening and it is breaking me.
Any advice? Thank you.

[KIP.]

Have you reported the incident to the police? Have you spoken to a solicitor about an occupation order removing him from the property? My advice is to cut all contact with him. Talk to a solicitor about you being the resident parent so that he cannot keep your child. Abusers are liars and will promise anything to regain control. Get all your ducks in a row. Your local women’s aid can help and support you with this. Abusers don’t change. You can bet behind the facade he’s doing his utmost to regain control with finances or third parties bad mouthing you. There is the national domestic abuse helpline too if you need to talk to someone x

[KIP.]

Talk to the police because they have new powers to remove perpetrators x keep all the evidence you can.texts emails photographs etc.

[Lisa]

Hi Butterflyz,

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. As KIP mentioned, it may be an option (if you havent already) to report any incidents to the police. This evidence on record may help you obtain an Occupation Order, which is a type of injunction that legally removes an abusive partner from the household. DV Assist is ideal to speak to about this as they specialise in injunctions.
Your local domestic abuse service is always useful to have on hand as at any time you can speak to them for emotional support, practical advice and advocacy.
Additionally, if you are in need of free legal advice you could contact Rights of Women. They are a voluntary organisation that offer free confidential legal advice over the phone. The Family law advice line offers advice on DV & abuse, divorce and civil partnership dissolution, relationship breakdown, issues relating to children. The Criminal law advice line offers advice on sexual offences, DV and harassment, police and criminal justice system, rights of victims, witnesses and defendants and criminal injuries compensation.
Hearing your child express missing their father no doubt adds to your emotional distress, but remember your child has no concept of what you are going through or the risks involved remaining in such a relationship. You are being a good mother by focusing on what needs to be done to ensure you and your child do not have to live with such abuse.
You may find it useful to speak to Suppportline for extra emotional support during this difficult time.
Please keep posting and letting us know how you are moving forward.
Take care,

Lisa

[Author]

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