Left months ago but still feel so depressed

[hkaisngkq]

I left my abusive relationship months ago and have had therapy since but still feel so damaged by it. I feel I am a completely different person and the years of lying to my friends and to myself and allowing someone to treat me this way has really changed my core personality. I am so good at faking being fine it’s just what I do now but it makes me so lonely. I hope time eventually heals this but right now it feels so hopeless as I thought i’d feel better or like my old self again, but starting to realise that my never happen and am upset he’s had the power and still has the power to do that. Sorry just wanted a rant

[spiritedaway]

We see you – I know how hard it is but please know it does get better and sometimes at the point you least expect it.  You are doing the right things and steps forward no matter how small are forward.  x

[Loveiskind]

Wow I’m in awe that you left. I am still trying to. That’s says a lot about your self esteem actually. You left! *hats off & hugs*

[Bluebirds]

I felt like I was writing your post. I am too in your position ! It’s been months and started therapy. People are saying i seem happier different etc.. but im honestly so so tired, is this all a front? I’m constantly crying! Just anything can set me off at the moment , I honestly don’t feel like my old self. I feel a shell of myself. This healing journey is certainly not easy.

We have to be Proud of ourselves for leaving and choosing us!! Take care sending love! X*x

[Anonymous]

First of all youve done the best thing you could in this situation – leaving. Mabye go on some anti depressants for a while to get yourself through the roughest part. Also you should watch videos on (removed by Moderator) abuse etc to give yourself reminders that they’re the messed up ones and how much you are getting away from.

 

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[Pheonix24]

I also feel like I could have written this post.  Its reassuring that i’m not going though this alone.  I have read some of the older posts which helped me.  Someone said that it takes time and week by week, month by month you get a part of your self back or replace it with the new you.  Everyone said leaving should be hard, but happens after and that journey is where I am struggling with.

I afraid, but also excited to what this new me will take shape as.  Theres no blue print drawn up and a blank canvas.

My commitment to myself for 2025 is going to be to discover what I like to do, what I dont and to be as king to myself as I can.  Thats all I can commit to at this time… but I feel its a good starting point.

Antidepressants are helped a little for the anxiety.  but they did stop me constantly crying and more able to focus on tasks and function.  I was reluctant to take them and they aren’t for everyone, but i’m glad I did start on them now – Combined with some online self help while I wait for therapy.

We are all on this jouney and at different stages.  Mines relatively new compared to some.  I wish you all the best for 2025.

[Author]

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