- This topic has 7 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 2 months ago by Twisted Sister.
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28th January 2022 at 5:41 am #137843KIP.Participant
You are not a rehabilitation center for abusive men. It’s not your job to fix him, change him, parent or raise him. You want a partner not a project.
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28th January 2022 at 11:35 am #137863ISOPeaceParticipant
So true. The project is doomed to failure anyway as the person you’re trying to help is sabotaging it every step of the way. xxxx
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28th January 2022 at 10:04 pm #137892nbumblebeeParticipant
This is me. I want to make him see I want to help him change. I want to change myself so he stops hurting me. I dont want to I cant leave as I dont want to give up on our marriage.
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29th January 2022 at 5:38 am #137906KIP.Participant
It takes two to make a marriage work. Abusers aren’t interested. Their idea of a successful marriage is you being completely broken and destroyed and him thriving off your misery. The first time he abused you he gave you permission to walk away x
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29th January 2022 at 8:32 am #137908nbumblebeeParticipant
Its the believing that you can walk away the believing that you should walk away that you deserve to walk away and the trust in yourself to do so that I dont have. X
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29th January 2022 at 8:20 pm #137924gettingtiredParticipant
Nor do I nbumblebee xx
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30th January 2022 at 1:00 am #137936Twisted SisterParticipant
I don’t think it all happens in one go nbumblebee and gettingtired. It can take time, it can take years, and there are many women who never leave and spend their life trying to make everything ok so they won’t be hurt. I wish it would work, but it doesn’t and you end up twisting yourself inside out so much that you forget who you are anymore, which I can tell you, is an awful place to be.
it becomes your normal life, and thats hard to break from because its what you’ve become practised at living with, your way of living.
One day you may feel able, and it surprising the strength to do it that then appears. Your brain works away at it, until you suddenly realise theres a way, or one shove too many, a word, or an action that suddenly makes a lightbulb go off for you, that moment when it becomes clear. In the meantime, be safe and prioritise yourself as much as you can.
warmest wishes
ts
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28th January 2022 at 10:26 pm #137894WeemebreezeParticipant
So true!! ❤️
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