Viewing 9 reply threads
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    • #21085
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I still freak out when the postman throws letters through the slot in my door. I am scared of letters. I have not had any bad letters for several months. I am still shaking and becoming anxious when there is a letter. I hate letters.

    • #21087
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Sorry to hear this Ayanna, were the bad letters from your ex? x

    • #21089
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Not directly from him but from the lawyers and the courts who supported him and wanted to destroy me.

    • #21091
      KIP.
      Participant

      Hi there, my ex has obviously stopped redirecting his mail so I’ve has a couple addressed to him. Just seeing his name on them triggers me. Also, I’ve had to put my phone on silent because the ringing triggers me. I’ve changed the ringtone but it’s still creeping me out. I think we seem to go through phases when we are more prone to triggers. I’ve been out nearly a couple years and thought I’d gotten over it all. Seems not. Also, there is an awful gap for helping me. WA have said they’ve done all they can to help with my safety etc (my worker has 25 women on her books so I can sympathise). The psychology department have said they’ve done all they can (six sessions teaching me breathing and coping techniques etc). What’s needed is a councellor to move me onto the next stage of recovery assuming there is one and it’s not only time. Keep telling yourself that this too shall pass.

    • #21094
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Yes, KIP the phone is another issue. I changed my mobile number. But the landline not. The ex abuser does not know the landline number where I moved to, but the police and some agencies do. When the landline rings I freeze. And then it is the hospital to give me an appointment for my endless health problems, or someone who wants to advertise something. It is ridiculous.
      I never had counseling and it seems I will never get it.

    • #21098
      Serenity
      Participant

      KIP- my ex has stopped having his post redirected too. Why?

      Well, all I do is write ‘ to at this address’ and put them back in the post box.

      A very official one came the other day from the HMRC, labelled most urgent. I took great delight in putting it back in the post box.

      Ayanna: I used to be terrified of my letters. Now I immediately rip them open with gusto the second they arrive with the ferocity of a monster. I deal with things ASAP now- I don’t procrastinate. I’m not having that sod and his fear tactics lingering in my head any longer than I have to.

    • #21107

      That is a good idea to open them quickly and deal with them Serenity, its always best to do the worst things first thats what all the books say. Triggers can come in all shapes and sizes and are very troubling when they come. I have found they put me back and upset me for quite a while. Yesterday I was browsing on Facebook and I accidently saw something that I wrote on the wall a couple of years ago, it was clear I felt in love and happy at that point. I had to read it twice to double check i wasn’t seeing things. It upset me so much to see that. Also seeing a name the same as his even initials the same as his upsets me.

    • #21109
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I can still not deal with anything quickly. I am in the grip of the trauma I have suffered. I cannot concentrate well and I take ages to do things. I am hypervigilant and nightmares and flashbacks rob me of my sleep.

    • #21114

      I think that different women are at different stages of recovery.

      I thought about you yesterday Ayanna & a post you put on a while ago about the birds that you had seen and their singing and how nice it was. I was looking at a robin on my fence yesterday, it looked so happy and inquisitive. I thought I might set up a bird bath and feeder in my garden so that I can look at the birds too. So simple yet so special. X

    • #21116
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Yes, the animals can give you peace. They are not two faced like most humans.

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