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    • #25233
      KIP.
      Participant

      Every day in this country, almost 30 women attempt suicide as a direct result of experiencing domestic violence. Every week, three women take their own life.
      .Saw this on a Refuge website and how they are trying to bring a law in to prosecute partners. So that’s 6 women per week dying. Shocking. I only bring this up because I contemplated suicide but I wouldn’t leave my son. Otherwise, who knows.

    • #25236

      Abuse goes so deep, is complex and really difficult to manage. God knows how women coped years ago when Womens Aid didn’t exist. (Removed by moderator). If they can bring in the law that will be a start, they have brought in the law which criminalizes Coercive control so this might happen. I think society has changed so much now, a lot more is in the open. Abusive behaviour is just not acceptable. I remember once seeing a man hitting a women in the street in broad daylight, I found it shocking and really upsetting.

    • #25244
      Inneedofsomepeace
      Participant

      Kip,I also have contemplated suicide many times as a direct result of all my perpetual did to me. Like you the only thing that has stopped me is my children and knowing that they need me.

    • #25248
      betterdays
      Participant

      I were only thinking about this today kip funnily enough. I tried suicide 3 times. I couldn’t see a way out. He had totally over took everything. But I’m still here the t..t didn’t win……. I HAVE. Ha x

    • #25252
      KIP.
      Participant

      Good for you betterdays. We bend but we don’t break👏👏👍👍

    • #25254

      I am crying at your words.

      We women need to rise up and be counted. This abuse behaviour is deep, complex, ingrained and hard to manage. But we are strong, with resources and determination. We will win not them. KIP, Bettedays, Serenity, myself, Million Pieces, Escaped Not Free and many many others on here have got out. Ok, we are now dealing with the after effects but we have got out and will rebuild our lives stronger and better. X*X

    • #25257
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I recently had intrusive thoughts of suicide. They just came out of nowhere, I was consumed by it & had it all planned out. The only thing that stopped me was that my daughter would find my body I couldn’t destroy her like that. I went to my GP straight away & am now waiting to start therapy. I’m on antidepressants at the minute & I have very few intrusive thoughts now.

    • #25258
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Ditto KIP, exactly that. Mostly thoughts of the children protected me from acting. It was my fear of being unable to protect them, when I truly believed I was no use to them, that’s when I really meant it. Thank goodness I was saved. I can’t bear to think of what the children would be suffering if I wasn’t here anymore. How terrible for all those women and children who weren’t so lucky x*x

    • #25327
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I was sucidal .. in the early days when i run for my life!! But iam stronger than that .. tge pain in my heart was unbearable….asking why did he do this me . All i did was love you … but my fighting spirit is trying to get justice.. i will keep fighting till i do 😆

    • #25330
      Serenity
      Participant

      There were two or three occasions in my marriage that I felt totally suicidal- in a horrible, dead, numb way- and then again after he left, due to his ongoing abuse.

      My kids were the only reason I got up again and carried on.

      I am glad I did. I am finally beginning to see sunshine in things again.

    • #25364
      KIP.
      Participant

      Wow. All these women on here, just sharing their similar experience of suicide. Suicide. I think we even minimise that. The whole thing is crazy and dysfunctional. I’m so glad you are all fighters and if anyone is reading this having those thoughts. Please don’t act on them, there is a good wonderful abuse free life waiting. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Pick up the phone and speak to someone or post on here for support X X I once read that abused women are the strongest on the planet, not the weakest, and I’m beginning to see why ❤️

    • #25367

      I read in one of the abuse books once that for a woman to commit suicide as a result of abuse is actually the epitome of power and satisfaction for the abuser, that they have achieved their ultimate goal. How completely dysfunctional and abnormal is that. Domestic abuse is so horrifically damaging to every part of you but you can break free of the chains and go on to lead a good life, eventually. X

    • #25369
      KIP.
      Participant

      I can imagine my ex playing the role of the grieving husband. Soaking up the sympathy. Playing the victim role to perfection. Telling everyone how he had tried to help but you know how she was, delusional! Then hooking in his next victim with his pitiful widower story. Arse X

    • #25374
      Ayanna
      Participant

      I almost killed myself. I could not take the persecution after fleeing anymore.

    • #25375

      My ex led me to believe that his ex wife was really controlling and that he led a controlled reduced life where she ruled. This does’nt quite ring true. Other things that he said later where he bullied her, dont add up to him being controlled. His family all believed that she were a horrible person, i think my ex was skilled at deception and he could deceive even his family and friends. I also think though as they lead their lives and tell their accounts of things, people generally have an odd bad feeling about them. As though there is something amiss. They may come across as charming and the life and soul and the poor victim. But somewhere along the line during their relationships with other people, at work or just in every day situations, there will be little slip ups where those people think, hmmm that doesn’t ring true. Its normally little things.

    • #25376
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Ayanna, and everyone else. I am so glad you didn’t.

    • #25386
      Ayanna
      Participant

      KIP, you just brought up a very important topic. Many widowers look for new women. I never thought of the way you described it. When I hear widower I usually think of a non abusive man who lost his wife to a horrible illness.
      My perspective has changed. Widowers might be even worse, because they drove their wives into suicide and nobody knows apart from them. That sends shivers down my back right now.

    • #25391
      KIP.
      Participant

      Yes, the horror that they took that awful secret to the grave. That’s 30 women per day attempting and 3 per week succeeding. I read ages ago about the sister of a woman who killed herself trying to bring the husband to justice. I think she may have started the campaign for liability. I wonder if there would be enough evidence in civil court where the burden of proof is much less X

    • #25394
      Ayanna
      Participant

      The ex abuser told me a few times that I should throw myself in front of a train or a bus, because I am worthless and a waste of space. Nobody would believe me that. That way he would have gained access to my pension without any effort.

    • #25397
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I have been suicidal and once almost tried to kill myself but stopped in case he cared and it would hurt him. Those statistics are so sad though. I’m glad you’re all still here x*x

    • #25476
      missgiddypants
      Participant

      they say that folk want to die just so they can end the pain they feel ,me too ladies I have felt like that and I have been out years ,those that don’t know me he left me for another ,blamed me for it all of course
      I got emotional abuse ,sexual and later financial got threatened all the time if I not do as he said he not pay the M***ge ,I put up with it for decades so him leaving me for another has all but destroyed me
      I not have children so can’t keep going for them But I do have 2 dogs so they have kept me from topping myself ,even thought about it recently as I have been getting some stress at work ,just keep plodding along best I can ,was talking to someone the other day where I work ,he is depressed and on anti depressants ,he says he struggles with life and the stress of his job is making him worse I can so relate to that x*x

    • #25502
      missgiddypants
      Participant

      think I may have worded that wrong I think I mean they reckon someone that tries to commit suicide doesn,t
      necessarily want to die they just want the pain to end and for all of us we want the pain in our hearts to go away !!! xx

    • #25504
      Serenity
      Participant

      You’re right, Miss Giddy Pants, wanting the pain to go away is the reason.

      Actually getting them out of your life and starting to live freely is the biggest prize.

    • #25517
      Ayanna
      Participant

      Missgiddypants, do you have workplace benefits? They usually offer confidential counselling.
      If you are a member of a union, some of them also offer a few counselling sessions per year. It is not ideal, but better than nothing and getting you out of the crisis.

    • #25586
      missgiddypants
      Participant

      no i not have any workplace benefits not in a union ,I just seem to go through spells of finding things rattle me ,we cant say what we do but imagine going to a place doing something then when its done leave
      I do this several times a day at different places for different companies ,one of them lost the contract
      so have been under a lot of stress last few months with it all x

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