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Hi everybody ,
Its been a long while since i have been on here. I finally had the courage to see it through and get a divorce . I have since had another baby and i am happy although what happened very much feels like yesterday.
The reason i am posting is to ask you lovely ladies advice to cut it short my ex still controls me using child maintenance and contact so basically he refuses to stick to a routine turns up when he pleases, doesnt let me know if hes not coming for the children and turns up late/ early what ever suits him. He now refuses to contsct me at all and has ordered it goes through his mum , however she is abusive and its like talking to him and she defends him to the hills despite him telling her to die alone and didnt speak to her for a number of years so i carried on taking the children to visit her but she very quickly forgets this and say i live in the past.
He has rung my new partmner threatening him and calling him names and i feel like no matter what i do ill never be free… i paid 200 to get a solictor letter sent which he said he ripped up . He just refuses point blank to stivk to a routine and my daughter now refuses to go. He knows im going on (detail removed by moderator) and last minute hes deliberately let me down luckily my new partner and mum will help me but i feel angry and like ill never escape …
Its now come to a head as i have blocked his mother and i dont know whats going to happen and i dont know what i should do??? Please help me if you have any similar experiences?
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Hi Tractor,
I don’t know much about child maintenance and contact but is there an organisation you can complain to about him behaving like this, it sounds very abusive and like he shouldn’t be getting away with it. A lady in my support group had a similar problem with her abusive ex not sticking to the agreed plan and she said he’s no longer allowed contact which she was very relieved about, I’m just not sure which organisation decides about the contact, hopefully one of the other ladies who have children can help with this!
Also I’d definitely ring the helpline and the local domestic abuse team because they will be very familiar with this sort of behaviour and will no doubt have advice. It’s definitely not ok for himk to be threatening your new partner so you could also get the police involved and report this harassment, keep all calls, texts, emails etc and log everything as evidence.
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