This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  fizzylem 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #97386
     Pinknails 
    Participant

    Hi I have my local appointment this week , I’m taking my best friend with me for support. I’ve been bombarded with messages from him again! He seems to think I am seeing someone. Hilarious part is it’s my mum that’s been staying with me , she’s seen all the messages and my dad has been shown also.

    They want me to move away from where I live closer to them. My friends are in agreement to move away as he’s becoming more erratic and I’m worried if I block him on social media he will turn up at my door or change his number and start calling me or messaging . I know moving is my only option to keep children safe.

    I had a scan done and I got a nasty message about how I should of asked him to come. My parents came with me as mum will be at birth and I’ve got complications so she wanted to know more about it.I do not want him at the birth as he has already threatened to take baby. So parents want me to move before the birth , to keep baby and me safe.

    I am hoping the appointment this week can help me sort some sort of plan because as the days pass I’m becoming more worried and stressed out.

  • #97392
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi, please report his harassment to the police. It’s really important that it’s documents with the police and your GP. This will definitely help you in the long run. You can speak to a domestic abuse police officer who will explain what they can do for you. I know this may sound excessive but please reach out. They can put a marker on your home and phone should you need them and since splitting up and pregnancy are often when abuse escalates it’s really important that you do this to protect yourself. I’m not sure what appointment you mean. Is it with women’s aid? And congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope the complications aren’t too bad as I’m sure you’re stressed enough with his behaviour. Also keep all his emails and texts etc for evidence and also start a journal of his behaviour. This will all definitely help further down the line x

    • #97393
       Pinknails 
      Participant

      The appointment is the initial appointment to get a support worker. I am waiting to see what she says about the police so I know if I’ve got her there they will take it more seriously. My mum is now coming with me also to the appointment so discuss support and plans that can be put in place.The abuse from him is mainly emotional , verbal and sexual so I’ve not got any physical abuse to report.

      I know as soon as the police get involved he will turn more nasty, he hates the police and they trigger him because of his past. He has already been in court with his child (physical assault) and still somehow got away with it. I need to find out if I can just move away out of area to protect baby from him.

  • #97396
     KIP. 
    Participant

    Hi, he sounds dangerous and he’s been through the system so he will be aware of how it works. If at all possible it sounds like it would be best if you moved away but you will still need help and support wherever you move to. Women’s aid were fantastic with me. The police were also fantastic. Mine was mostly emotional and sexual too but those are the scars that run deepest and last longest. It would be good for you to get some counselling in place. This can help you cope with the anxiety too. The police have domestic abuse officers too who can advise you without you giving a statement but if you want to be fully protected I’d make a statement to the police. Keep a journal too. Women’s aid will probably do a risk assessment. They can help with housing and a place in a refuge if needed. They can offer emotional support too. Sounds like you know what you’re dealing with and know to keep well away from him as this is the most dangerous time for you x

  • #97447
     fizzylem 
    Participant

    I’d move and do it quick; he could apply for a prohibited steps order if he finds out; this could make things really difficult for you, best to be avoided.

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