Lonliness

[ConfusedandHurt]

So, I’ve posted a cpl times but on one of the other message boards.
I’m out of my bad relationship…. just waitin on some court proceedings. But its only just now that I’ve actually realised how lonely I am.
I’ve got a few mates but 2 of them were his mates and it’s just really kinda came to me that I’ve kinda latched onto them in a way and feel the need to explain things etc.
I’m isolated on my own, ill go a see my parents as they are my bubble but I dnt feel like im able to actually talk to any of them (not that there is many) I think people are just fed up of me talking about my ex and how I’m feelin but it’s just so strange, my ex was my best friend, I just feel that I’ve lost my ability to get back on track.
I’m probably making something out of nothing but I’ve went from my ex, to latchin on to friendships that are probably not healthy.
I don’t know whether it would be best to just cut everyone out just now, including my family (all they want is positivity in me- but I cant tell them that I miss him) and just switch everything off and just try n go thru this without intervention from others.

[Anonymous]

Hi I am in the same situation as you . I cut friends and family out one by one to protect them from him and because of the shame I felt .I feel lonely too ,just slowly talk to people no rush and you have freedom to now also .I’m hopeful it will get easier I have missed out on a lot of things and intend to take my life back but for now Covid puts us all in isolation, posting on here helps too .

[Hetty]

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I had a massive blow up with some family recently and it made me want to run to my ex. He always seemed to be a comfort to me when I was having wider family issues. The truth is these men aren’t our friends. They are our abusers. It’s so hard to make that break and of course we do miss good times. The good times only served to keep us hooked. In that sense they aren’t real.
I don’t imagine the lockdown helps. It can feel like life is stuck as we can’t do some of our normal things to keep us feeling like we are moving forward in our recovery.
Have you told your parents how you’re really feeling – that you feel there’s no real outlet? Maybe they need some help to see things from your perspective. When I left I had family saying I should talk to my ex etc, they thought I was being cruel to him, but when I explained they better understood where I was at and the complexities of moving on from an abuser.
It sounds like you’re identifying some unhealthy relationships in your life right now but just be careful not to isolate yourself from those that really do care but are getting it wrong. You will know best about the nature of these friendships. Have you reached out to your local domestic abuse service? Maybe they can link you up with someone to talk to who really understands.
Keep posting. You’re not alone xx

[sweet4]

Hi
I dont have any friends.
I dont have any family.
I dont have a job.

[KIP.]

Hi I’m wondering if you have looked into some counselling as it’s good to talk and process the abuse with a professional and also look into local online support groups and charities x

[Author]

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