Losing my sanity

[Sameold]

Hi. I visited the board last year, and here I am in the same situation.
My partner is so angry, shouty loud fast over powering angry that I am unable to respond to or reason with or defend myself. I am the problem, everything he’s doing is my fault. It’s me who’s the bully, it’s me with the anger issue, look at me look at what I do, it’s me.
He’s fully and quickly escalated what could’ve been a calm discussion (timeframe removed by Moderator), and my (age removed by Moderator) yr old and my (age removed by Moderator) yr old have heard. On walking into my (age removed by Moderator) yr old room she lay in her cot wagging her finger saying no more daddy and this has broken me a little bit. I’m hurting so much. But she didn’t say it, she loves her daddy, I’m making it up.
I am so so tired, exhausted from the change in him so quickly he goes from loving to a man I really dislike so quickly. He never ever takes any responsibility somehow it’s always my fault.
im finding things so tough. He’s destroying my love, my family and I’m literally powerless to stop him. I’ve tried, I’ve begged. I’ve cried. He cannot see what he’s doing as it’s easier to blame me.
I’m so sad right now

[Sad and alone]

So sorry, this sounds heartbreaking for your child to be exposed to this behaviour and acknowledge it.
Just wanted to confirm that you haven’t done anything wrong. This is a common thing. It’s always my fault too. I’m to blame. I make him do and say things. I never realised I had such powers but apparently I do! If I didn’t do or say xyz he wouldn’t have to call me names or criticise me or pick me apart as a person. And if I respond to his behaviour with anger he turns it round – See! Look at the way you’re behaving. You’re mental. You need help. You’re the one that’s shouting.

The swinging between this behaviour and the “normal” behaviour is hard because when things are “normal” it’s easy to put the bad to the back of your mind because you’re grateful for the peace.

It will destroy your love for them in the end, you can’t go on forever, it’ll come at different times for different people but you’ll get to the point where you just don’t feel anything for them.

Try and stay strong. Post on here or live chat with Women’s Aid, get some support locally. It’s hard being alone in these relationships.

[Sameold]

Thankyou, I’ve been trying live chat today I will try again tomorrow. I’m really struggling with the whole turning things around on me saying look who’s shouting you’re always so angry you are awful then having the audacity to also say I’m angry because my periods are awful and it’s the same every month. Now this I know to be untrue. Why is it getting under my skin so much

[Author]

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