lost

[Mixedup]

I’ve been separated from abusive ex since (detail removed by Moderator), but I was living with his mum til (detail removed by Moderator). Me and my kids are now homeless, sleeping on a friends sofa- no matter how welcoming she is I feel so lost, so in the way, – my kids have adjusted- neither are even 10 yet. We are coming to Christmas, and we have nowhere, no place for Christmas at all and I just want to cry all the time. I’m even thinking of going back to my ex, the fear holding me back is I don’t listen and do everything he says anymore (his words), so I worry that that would escalate. But what other choice do I have, temporary with the council a room sharing toilet with 4-5 other strangers. How in earth can I be expected to cope? I barely manage to sleep at night when I know whose around me, let alone when I don’t
I don’t want to go back- but I don’t think I have a choice.

[duvetday]

Just wanted to say I read your post and am so sorry to hear about your housing situation. Must feel scary and horrible. It’s understandable you think about going back to your ex but if you can manage to stay away then do. x

[Borntobefree]

Hi mixedup
Please don’t go bk
Things will get better for you.. ride it out .I know it’s not easy I’ve been there .I sofa surfed for a year best decision I made .. you will get through this hugs X

[SunshineRainflower]

This is so awful Mixedup, it is absolutely terrible that the council haven’t found you a place. I thought they were obliged to find you somewhere especially as you have children? Have you got any support from CAB or shelter or the council housing office? How come they expect you to share, I thought with children they had to find you a suitable place for safety? It makes no sense, something is badly wrong in the system if you and your children are homeless, I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. Please keep going through this tough patch and demand the support to get your own place, don’t go back to him as abuse escalates and you will not be safe.

[dustypink]

Just wanted to tell you need to go to council, book appointment. Over the phone they are not really helpful, but not do easy to say No when you are face to face. And ask to give you written explanation why they cannot help you.

[Mixedup]

Oh god I can’t handle this for another week,let alone a year-how did you manage that? I’ve tried to keep it together, to work and keep things as normal as possible. I don’t want to go back, but at least the children will be happy ish and know where they are. I can’t handle the idea of doing this over christmas- they are my children and I can’t even give them a proper christmas. I can’t even provide them with their own home. This was my choice, I made the choice to leave him. I accept that. But what hurts is that if I had known then where my kids would be now, where I would be now I would never have called the police. I wouldn’t have done this. I would have made sure I stayed the quiet, meek do as I was told person I was. I wish I could go back to that cause he was right- I can’t provide for my children on my own.

[KIP.]

Could you afford to rent a small flat for you all meantime? Have you taken legal advice to see if you can have him removed from the family home. Ring Rights for Women for free advice. If the police are involved perhaps you could get a civil interdict or exclusion order. If you go back things will just get worse. Are you in touch with your local women’s aid? They might be able to help with housing and benefits available to you. I think the housing department may have an obligation to home you and your children when domestic abuse in involved. Keep asking x ring the helpline on here x

[Mixedup]

I’ve tried for 2 bed, and 1 bed. Viewings left, right and centre. Im put with a caseworker from council, I’ve got a floating support worker from an agency. Im still sleeping on someone’s sofa. I’ve made countless offers on places- im not even being that picky. I’ve got a solicitor, I’ve got police involved, I don’t think I can handle a shared house when I don’t know the people.

[KIP.]

You’re doing great. Keep moving forwards, don’t go backwards. Something will fall into place. You seem determined. Please don’t go back. I went back and it didn’t take long for the abuse to show up again. Worse than ever. I think he was punishing me for separating in the first place. I watched a programme about Natalie Hemmings last night. Google her if you get the chance. At least you’re safe with your kids x

[Borntobefree]

Hi mixedup
Luckily I did not have any children to my ex
It was hard for me .. but I would rather of slept on sofa than being abused ..you are a good mum by getting them.away .and it’s just a hurdle to find your own place ..you will get there. .you have your freedom now and you got this keep moving forward X

[Author]

Posts