Lost

[Visionforward]

So he dumped me
My new boyfriend that I messed around with all my insecurities and fears and had him jumping through hoops to assure me he was a good man. I pushed him to the limit and he broke it off.
He said he loves me but the age difference was an issue for him (I’m 7 years okder) he nursed and lost his first wife and is afraid of nursing and losing someone else
I don’t know what to do
He wants to be there for me and be close friends but I love him and I’ve nevwr loved anyone like this before
My head space is so messed up and now I’ve hurt a good man
Don’t even want to live on this rotten earth anymore

[freedomtochoose]

This is really hard. I’ve recently lost a friend – would have appreciated the companionship. It is very hard
being on your own sometimes.
Sounds like though it is time to be very kind to yourself. Try to do things to nuture yourself at this difficult time. Don’t forget Samaritans freephone number 116 123.
And keep posting on here
thinking of you
ftc
x

[Visionforward]

My ex husband was right
I’m
Am incomplete woman that will never be able
To keep a man
I’m so broken no one can fix me and he knew that
I always think my life is going to change and I can look into the future and he’s always ready to laugh at me when my world crashes again and again

[Tiffany]

I am going to be blunt here. Only you can fix you. Nobody else. Sure, other people can help – therapists and doctors in particular, but also friends and family. But it is you that has to do the fixing.

I know how tempting it is to look for a solution in a new man. I am in the early stages of my first relationship since the abuse, and the temptation to fall into the old unhealthy patterns of seeking comfort from a partner when I feel insecure is hard to resist. But it isn’t healthy. I learned to do it when I was desperately trying to seek approval from my abuser, to switch things back to love bombing after the abuse. There is only the legacy of abuse in my new relationship, but that doesn’t make the response any healthier. And when I think rationally I don’t want my new partner to smooth away my fears like my ex did. I need to smooth away my own fears. All my partner can do is to earn my trust and respect.

It’s hard work. I had a decent period of being single. I am going for counselling. I have been working on building up my self esteem. It still isn’t easy. But it is surely worth it. And if I split from my new partner I will be in a better place than I was before. That’s important. I am fixing myself.

[freedomtochoose]

thanks for saying that tiff
all best
ftc
x

[Author]

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