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    • #18740
      MixedUpandConfused
      Participant

      It’s been a couple of months now since I left him but I feel like I’m still struggling. I feel lost in the house on my own and di want excuse I can to get out but when I am with other people I don’t feel myself. I get irritated easily because I can’t tell anyone how much I’m struggling as I don’t want them to feel sorry for me. I know I don’t miss him, it’s more because I am petrified of bumping into him, even the thought of it sends me into nervous shakes. Why is he still affecting me when at first I was doing so well, it’s so frustrating!!

    • #18749

      Hi Mixed up, i’m in a similar situation. I ended my relationship with my abusive ex 4 months ago and I have had (& still have) a range of those missing & yearning emotions, every day.
      At the moment I am focussing on some resources I have been given on here which when I heard about them at the time i though, yeah that means something to me. Also, time is a healer and keeping busy, maybe starting up some new hobbies or interests. I’m going to turn it into a kind of self help project. What i’m focussing on right now is:

      The Power of Now
      Cycle of grief/loss
      30 Covert Manipulation Tactics (available to read on Amazon)

      What is PTG?


      http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/there-is-no-closure-with-narcissists/

    • #18755
      MixedUpandConfused
      Participant

      Thank you so much(detail removed by moderator) and Healthyarchive. I will definitely give those resources a try. I just want it all to go away and for me to be happy again.

    • #18763
      godschild
      Participant

      Although I am still with my Husband due to disabilties I have cut off emotionally from him and have come to full realisation of the decades of abuse and the effects on me, so have similar feelings to you in some ways as I knwoit can never go back to how it was in that cycle of abuse.
      The abuse affects us so much and it will take time for you to recover, echo what (detail removed by moderator) said get some help fro those who understand abuse, ie Womens aid, you will have a lot of bottled up emotions to deal with xx

    • #18790
      Serenity
      Participant

      It takes time. Feeling irritable is linked to feeling overwhelmed.

      Make sure you take little steps forward. Don’t run before you can walk. Take good care of yourself- that is the priority.

      It does get easier. X

    • #18807
      Confused123
      Participant

      Hi HUn

      U r still at early stages yet, u bound to have loads of mixed reactions, I would highly recommend you read up on abuse, its shocking how deep it goes and how these abusers work. HAve u read why he does it by lundy Bancroft and the dominator by pat craven. We all recommend ladies to read them, to help us understand it didn’t just happen to us, get support via counsellor, support worker, take classes up about recovering from abuse. Leaving an abuser is draining and our emotions surprise us, post on here as much as u need to

    • #18810
      MixedUpandConfused
      Participant

      Thanks so much everyone. Posting on here helps as I know no one here will think im being silly or over reacting. Where am
      I eat getting these books from? Xx

    • #18812

      A lot of the books are free to read on amazon x*x

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