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      So this is probably a bit silly but I’ve been watching Love is Blind on Netflix and one of the men in is such an emotional abuser it really bothered me. He does this thing where he sulks and when his partner asks him what’s wrong, after sulking some more, he then launches into all the reasons she is ‘bad and wrong’ and that ‘she’s pushing him away.’ He threatens to leave her for her ‘behaviour’ and is always basically telling her she’s an immature child and she’s lucky to have him.

      One time he froze up about something and she just asked him about it and he acted all sulky and angry and then turned it round to somehow make it her fault. Another time he was rude and crass to another couple and his partner felt embarrassed and walked away. He went after her and again, somehow made it look like she’d done something wrong. The worst part is she seems to believe him and she’s always crying and apologising. She’s a really pretty, vibrant joyful young woman and it’s awful to see her be treated like this by an extremely ugly, sour, grumpy, emotionally abusive man.

      I can see now that ugly, horrible men do this to vibrant, beautiful women to trap them. They convince us that we are worthless and that they are better than us when in fact it’s the complete opposite. If we saw them clearly we wouldn’t even go on one date.

      It’s awful to see this classic early stage emotional abuse play out on screen. It 100% reminds me of my ex who gaslighted me constantly and was always turning things round to play the victim. What made it worse was when I checked the twitter hashtag, a lot of people were agreeing with him and lashing out at this girl for being ‘immature’ and ‘too emotional’ and ‘a drama queen.’

      I guess the only positive is, I’m glad how quickly I saw the pattern. If I hadn’t done all of my reading, learning and healing about this, I might not have seen the pattern either. I also later saw women on twitter who were pointing out that he was gaslighting her the whole time so thankfully not everyone was fooled. I wish the public had a better understanding of domestic abuse because this is an example of how abusers can manipulate others to blame the victim.

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