Low point today

[Eve1]

Im feeling really low again. For the last two weeks my daughter has hardly been in school at all. I think this is affecting me badly. It means we hardlt5 have a moment apart. And today I woke up feeling like just breathing is hard work, with no wnergy. I’m still taking antidepressants and drank some tea yesterday while at Dad’s so that probably doesn’t help.

I should go and get checked our at the doctors I suppose.

I think, as I’ve postedo before, I often feel really bad when I’ve seen my Dad. I also saw a group of old girl friends last weekend, which ultimately has also depressed me, I think. My last abuser is part of this group. To be honest, I don’t rea5y want to see anyone, as much because I need to use what little energy I’ve gotto do the things I need to do. My landlord had complained about the garden, which is fair, and also about the state of the house and wants to see improvement in a certain time or will give me notice. The trouble is with my daughtet at home I find it difficult to ignore her completely and get on with things and I’ve given up asking het to help at the moment.

I’m really stuck again.

Sorry to be so completely negative. Can’t even put into words how bad I feel at the moment.

x

[White Rose]

Hi Eve
You can do this – don’t give up. It feels overwhelming and endless but its not.
I think maybe it’s time for a list of jobs? I’m a great believer in the power of crossing things off when they’re achieved!!
Your daughter can help too in between doing a bit of school work. If shes not doing school work tell her she needs to pull her weight. Even if she only dusts the skirting boards or wipes down shelves or cleans her own room.
The first list will be huge as you’ll put absolutely everything on there! Put all tne house amd garden jobs on it then start with one BIG job that can be left to “do itself” eg clean oven and hob (spray with cleaner amd leave for an hour) and same goes for bath/loo/shower while you tackle 2 small jobs. Spend 30 mins pulling weeds up then sit and have a cool drink in the garden. Repeat and in an hpur and a half your garden will be looking better and you’ll have got some exercise released some endorphins and will feel a bit better in yourself too.
An important thing for the list is FUN stuff e.g. manicure after the garden facial after the shower cleaning.
I bet in 2-3 bursts of 2-3 hours you’ll crack the worst of it and things will look and feel a lot better.
Keep plodding on. Keep asking for support and try to keep positive you will be ok x*x

[Eve1]

Thanks White Rose,

I’ll try that tomorrow. I’m going to see my gp soon too. I feel that the worse I feel, the worse my daughter does. I’ve read that they can do a good referral to the local authority leisure centre. I would love to get back to some kind of fitness but can’t seem to do it on my own. Maybe my daughtet could do this

xx

[White Rose]

I think we do have a habit of mirroring each other’s moods which is why it’s good to try to do something for just you alone out of the house. Hard I know but it will help lift your mood even if it’s only a walk round the streets so give it a try. If your daughter is anxious you can take your phone and tell her you’ll never be more than 10 mins away if she needs you. Maybe even set her a homework task to do while you are out?
Keep in touch x*x

[lover of no contact]

Hi Eve,

Its so hard to keep on top of everything, I agree. And when one of my children are struggling it tends to affect me badly too. White Rose has excellent advice, I am going to take it on board for myself. Things can get overwhelming and the dust, the dirt and the grime can gather if we’re not constantly on the ball. And yet we’re only human and we’re not robots and its alot to singlehandedly sort house, garden, house repairs, house decoration, children, washing, cooking, cleaning, finances, deal with our emotions when around people who drain us/trigger us etc. It really is too much for us some of the time. Maybe its ok to operate at 30 per cent some of the time. maybe some days if all we manage to do is put a meal on the table, give our children a hug and a listening ear, shower and empty a waste paper bin, well that’s ok.

To add to White Rose’s advice… My child got great advice for studying and its proving very helpful..that is to do 6 half hour slots of study per day. He can do it all together or take breaks whenever he wants.

I’m applying the ‘6 half hour slots’ (3 hours) to my cleaning of house/garden and I find it helpful. If I think I only have to go at it for half an hour it doesn’t seem as daunting and at least it gets me started despite my feelings of feeling overwhelmed by all I have to do.

[Eve1]

Thank you both. Those are some good ideas for me to try.

This morning is one of those can’t take it much more mornings. She’s not going in when really, I think she could. It’s masively frustrating. I hope she’ll get in in a little while. It’s just so huge to me. I want her to learn that doing things when you’re not feeling great can be a huge boost.

Also I’m missing the last ‘ relationship’ I had although he was abusive, reallying. I’ve ended it properly so he wouldn’t even reply if I contacted him. But I miss being able to turn to him at moments like this.
Still feeling overwhelmed.

x

[Author]

Posts