Lying to take me back to court

[Flopsy]

Hi all, I’ve not been on for a while but desperate for some advise or where to go to for advise.
I am the resident parent and have a cout order stating the contact my ex has. I have stuck to the court order but have been having problems with my ex not bringing the kids back when he’s supposed to. This can range from one hour to a whole day. I’ve started to write down when he’s doing this to keep a record. He recently dropped the kids back a day late and my kids said that re following weekend they wanted to go to his a day later so we could have half a weekend together which we missed out on. I verbally made him aware of this and put it in a reminder text on the day. That same day he arrived on my doorstep provoking an argument trying to argue I was breaching the contract and that I’ve been twisting the children against him. A family member on his side also arrived and continued to provoke an argument and also used emotional bullying tactics. They have told me they are taking me to court as I am stopping contact despite this not being the case. I have witnesses to prove that they have been going to see there dad. They have also claimed I am turning the kids against them going as far as to disregard what the children have to say for themselves. I actually thought he was going to hit me

[fizzylem]

Gah! Can relate so much chick. Sadly all he has left is his contact arrangement to abuse you with now, it sounds to me that you need to remove yourself from the picture completely so it doesn’t effect the children, he just cant see that what he does impacts on the kids, its all about the war on the mother and thats it. I’m starting this process just now. Is there a child contact centre near by you could use? He won’t be late for these people will he and he will have no way of blaming you for anything. You could ring and speak to them.

If he takes you back to court then it would be an opportunity for you to get a contact centre set in stone on the order – suits you and the kids! You know what is the truth, remember, he is bound to try and instill self doubt in you, he’s still trying to control and scare you, don’t let him x

[freedomtochoose]

Hello hon,
As far as I know if child is brought back a day late (or even an hour late – without notice) – we are supposed to get this registered with the police (and get an incident number). We can show a copy of the contact order. Ex is effectively breaching a court order and this is a criminal offence.

As far as relatives and/or other people interfering is concerned – if you have witnesses – you can report them for harassment. And once again, get an incident number.

Hope this helps.
Further advice Rights of Women etc
ftc
x

[fizzylem]

Yes good idea FTC, ring the police and speak to someone in their domestic abuse team, give them the days and times he failed to show, then there’s a record – get one step a head x

[Flopsy]

Thank you for replying.
How do I find a contact centre? I know where there is one in his town but don’t know I’d my town has one.
I’ve reported the incident to the police. I had to do it online as I couldn’t get through on the phone. My only concern is one of my exes immediate family members is now a police officer and I’m terrified he’s going to tamper something.

[Lisa]

Hi Fizzgiggles,

I just wanted to reply in case you hadn’t found an answer to this yet; you can search for a contact centre on The National Association of Child Contact Centre’s website.

Kind Regards,

Lisa

[freedomtochoose]

Hello Fizzigiggles,

In addition to what Lisa was saying I wanted to respond to your comment as follows:
“My only concern is one of my exes immediate family members is now a police officer and I’m terrified he’s going to tamper something”.

I have been through this love. IF I can call you that.

My ex had a close relative who had just got a warrant card and my ex used this fact to intimidate and bully my birth family so that they were too scared to support me. This is several years ago.

If this happened now I know what I would do . But I am now much stronger than I was then.

I would contact their local constabulary and make a complaint.

My understanding is that any law enforcement officer PCSO or warrant card – who is intimidating a family member (suffering from domestic abuse) – or suspected of doing so – is committing a VERY serious criminal offence and should be exposed accordingly to their ‘superiors’ and member of parliament etc.

Such an officer would lose their post and their job IMMEDIATELY and should be expelled from the police force asap. Apart from their inability to maintan their ‘integrity’ family members have no place in the family court room as I understand it. Judges do not take kindly to such intimidation as in my experience.,.

Sometimes it goes wrong but finally, despite the rubbish of extended ex’s family – they were outed in the end and judge told them to effectively sit down and shut up.

They try to scare people and they fact that this person is even subtley trying to scare you by insinuating they have a police officer who is willing to back them in their deceit – is beyond the pale.

There are shed loads of police officers who would be disgusted at this and would tell the person in question where to get off.

all best
ftc
x

[freedomtochoose]

Hello Fizzigiggles,

In addition to what Lisa was saying I wanted to respond to your comment as follows:
“My only concern is one of my exes immediate family members is now a police officer and I’m terrified he’s going to tamper something”.

I have been through this love. IF I can call you that.

My ex had a close relative who had just got a warrant card and my ex used this fact to intimidate and bully my birth family so that they were too scared to support me. This is several years ago.

If this happened now I know what I would do . But I am now much stronger than I was then.

I would contact their local constabulary and make a complaint.

My understanding is that any law enforcement officer PCSO or warrant card – who is intimidating a family member (suffering from domestic abuse) – or suspected of doing so – is committing a VERY serious criminal offence and should be exposed accordingly to their ‘superiors’ and member of parliament etc.

Such an officer would lose their post and their job IMMEDIATELY and should be expelled from the police force asap. Apart from their inability to maintan their ‘integrity’ family members have no place in the family court room as I understand it. Judges do not take kindly to such intimidation as in my experience.,.

Sometimes it goes wrong but finally, despite the rubbish of extended ex’s family – they were outed in the end and judge told them to effectively sit down and shut up.

They try to scare people and they fact that this person is even subtley trying to scare you by insinuating they have a police officer who is willing to back them in their deceit – is beyond the pale.

There are shed loads of police officers who would be disgusted at this and would tell the person in question where to get off.

all best
ftc
x

[freedomtochoose]

sorry to post twice, IT issues I am not that brilliant at it.
all best
ftc
x

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