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    • #117260
      Freedom @
      Participant

      I have some unhealthy habits that I really want to kick but find it so hard when I’m so unhappy in this environment. I smoke and have aa few drinks most days just to cope. While it’s not a physically abusive relationship the on and off mindf**kery unhealthy dynamic has really taken its toll. I have no way out at the moment and have a hopeless attitude of what’s the point. Yes I’ve been to councelli g etc.. it helped but nothing will work until I’m away from him and hes accepted it’s over. This question is for people who maintained healthy habits while in difficult situation?

    • #117275
      gettingtired
      Participant

      Hi Freedom, personally I’m not qualified to give any advice on drug/alcohol issues, I live with a partner who uses both though. The one thing I would say is that I don’t think that will be able to be tackled until you’ve left the abusive relationship. I self-referred myself for counselling as I thought that might help me to build strength to leave but they weren’t able to help me with my issues of anxiety whilst I was in the abusive relationship. Until I leave the relationship these things won’t change.
      I’m sorry I haven’t been of much help. You sound like you are struggling though. The feeling of helplessness as a result of emotional abusive is very dark. Just because it’s not physical abuse you’re experiencing doesn’t mean your situation is any better. From what I have read emotional and psychological abuse can have much longer lasting effects.
      Have you been in touch with womens aid? They can offer you more advice/support and look at options for leaving. Xx

    • #117278
      KIP.
      Participant

      It’s difficult during lockdown but try to build a life, hobbies, friends, interests, outdoor pursuits. Everything away from him, so your goal is to separate everything from emotions, finances, friends. Think long term. Cut out the alcohol and cigarettes for the long term so you still have your health when you find the courage to leave him well behind x

    • #117311
      Hawthorn
      Participant

      Hi Freedom,

      It’s so difficult to look after yourself and make healthy choices when you’re enduring abuse. I was at the same as you before I left, smoking like a chimney, drinking regularly and self medicating my anxiety and insomnia with w**d. Anorexic and never doing any exercise. I had been a runner and (detail removed by Moderator) in my life before him.

      Once I left him it all stopped. I gave up smoking everything, got my appetite and energy back and rararely drink alcohol now. Took almost zero effort. Without the stress of living with him it just didnt occur to me to do those negative things anymore.

      I didnt have an addiction problem but an abuse problem. So my top recommendation is to get out of that situation but you know that already. Recognizing why you’re making the choices you are is the first step. He’s taken enough from you, dont let him take your physical health along with your mental health. Small changes. Try vaping rather than smoking, try to get out for some fresh air every day. Try non-alcoholic beers or spirits or occupy yourself making something healthy and delicious to eat rather than drinking.

      And plan your exit strategy. You got this x*x

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