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So I let him back into the family home because he turned up in tears, stating he was suicidal, couldn’t live anywhere else, needed me & the children more than anything. Stupidly I let him back out of guilt & fear he may do something. I said he could move home but it was for him & the children & not for us.
The tears stopped within a few days, he returned to work & everything went back to how it was just before he had left. Just existing within the home.
A few weeks later I discover he has been messaging a woman he met, trying to arrange a meet up with her. When I confronted him (which wasn’t easy but I am scared of talking to him) he had no apology, no remorse, tried to deny it at first then just turned it all on me saying basically I have treated him like s**t this last year & he has been trying so hard & been so good that what did I expect!
I knew he would turn it round on me but it’s the fact the he is still in the same mindset and believes that apparently he is only 10% of my problems & the rest is all me & my mental health.
He thinks I’m jealous otherwise, why am I bothered. I am a little, that’s got to be natural, but I’m mostly upset because he has just put the final nail in the coffin and it’s realisation that’s it is truly over. I feel anxious & sick and panicky. It’s going to be so hard.
He is the master of manipulation and has spoke to so many of our family & friends about things and played the victim, I know my battle isn’t only going to be with him!! Guess that’s why I’m doing my rant on here.
Not feeling strong at the moment, very emotional and vulnerable. But hopefully in a few days I will be back to myself and I’m going to make an appointment with a solicitor.
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I am not surprised you fel jealous and disappointed by him texting another woman, I think that is natural. Also grieving for what could have been, what it once was and feeling sad that it is finally over is also to be expected. Keep posting on here for support. From what I have read, you are right, this bit won’t be easy but the ladies on here are great for support. You can do this x*x
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This is great DD, you’re starting to see his tactics and the manipulation – and most importantly – that he will never change! Go girl! This is the first step towards a new, abuse free life. You can start to get your ducks lined up now, I suggest calling the helpline and talking things through, it’s v natural to feel overwhelmed in the early days as you start to think more about what ending it means and what needs to be done, so take it one step at a time and remember we’re all here for you x
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