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    • #61345
      Aliceinwonderland
      Participant

      We had mediation and he has agreed to supervised access due to his problems with drink and cannabis. Has anybody else experienced this type of access with children? We have agreed certain members of his family to support the arrangement and I feel much better that he agreed in mediation so I guess I should feel happy, however I still do not trust him entirely.

      I am also concerned as he had prepared a speech about my anxiety and insomnia-claimed I was mentally unstable and he had concerns about my ability to look after kids. The mediator was aware of abuse in the relationship and didn’t seem to pay much attention to him on this matter, but what if he tells his family the same stuff? I do suffer with anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks but I’m not unstable with kids. I really need his family to support this decision and I’m not sure they will if he tells then this.

    • #61352

      dont trust his family
      ftc
      x

    • #61356
      Iwon
      Participant

      I find it interesting that the mediator saw through him and tòok no notice. Always remember mediation is not legally binding but what it proves if this ever goes to court is you have made every effort as the resident parent to facilitate contact with the dad. I wouldn’t trust his family keep your contact to as close to zero as possible.

      The smear campaign to his family is fairly predictable. If he can play the victim and throw around silly rubbish about your character it keeps them focused on you they won’t be looking at his serious failings.

      I would go low contact with his family also. Families can’t face there is a abuser in the family. They will take his side.

      Regarding you suffering from not sleeping and anxiety… . Every woman I know be they due to abuse or just modern day life has those things.

      It’s not even worth even thinking about. The courts would ignore it. That’s old fear. You have control here ad the resident parent. He has very little power. Take control…. but actually you already have control. You just don’t know it. All the best x

    • #61359
      enofadov
      Participant

      Mine is saying I have post natal depression which I do not….think it’s a strategy they use to cover everything they’ve done
      I’m sure he will be telling people this as mine is. Just keep strong and know the people who matter know exactly the amazing Mum you are x*x

    • #61365
      Iwon
      Participant

      Mine told everyone I was a drug addict prostitute and alcoholic who had affairs thru out marriage. Also I was mentally ill because I couldn’t cope with the marriage breaking down.

      I never went out for  years I was married to him and had no money for food for me and child as he used to take all my salary off me to gamble and drink with.

      These men will throw loads of rubbish at us like this to see what sticks meaning upsets us. Ignore him and he will find something else to criticise you for.

      When I finally stopped caring what his people thought of me life for better. Hold your head up high. People get bored of listening in the end. Xx

    • #61371
      Aliceinwonderland
      Participant

      Thank you for the kind words, I know I have to stop contact with him as he was advised in mediation not to come into house at all, he handed me key back. But he showed me by preparing this type of speech he will throw low blows at me. Supervised access is a small victory for me, I just need kids to be safe. It doesn’t seem like the end is in sight in terms of stopping him from being cruel and saying things that aren’t true or fair.

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