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My daughter assaulted me back in (detail removed by Moderator) and I met someone from WA about what to do about it. A (detail removed by Moderator) later my husband had me arrested saying I punched him. I believe this was a lie as I’ve witnessed him starting a fight before. So I now have a black mark by my name. The police are investigating my husband’s behaviour.In the meantime, I am going nuts, doing stupid things, unable to eat and generally losing the plot. I don’t know where to turn. I don’t want to be in the same house as my husband. My children agree. I really don’t know what to think or do. Divorce proceedings are going ahead and my husband is like the cat who’s got the cream.
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Hi Maddog,
So sorry to hear you’re having such a bad time, ring the helpline, it will help.
You must eat, even if it is little and often, you need your strength. I know that is easier said than done, I was worryingly skinny when I was under the same roof, so often I used to throw my meals away because I had no appetite.
I am a healthy weight again now.
We are all on a roller coaster journey, we have to celebrate the up times and remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Do something that you enjoy doing, music is my therapy.
Take care xx -
Yes I play an instrument and play in a band. It is horrible that I have noticed that I have started scratching myself. I know it seems trivial. I also trashed 2 of my car’s tyres by driving into the kerb. Just stupid things. I am on loads of drugs to try to keep body and soul together. There are times when they don’t touch the sides. What a mess.
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It won’t be for long Maddog, tyres can be replaced, your well being is the most important.
Go back to the docs, if they sometimes don’t touch the sides.
Don’t mark yourself with scratches, some leave scars, when things are better, you don’t want to look at those scars and remind yourself of the bad times.
Make an appointment to see your GP.
You are obviously very talented if you can play an instrument and play in a band, pat yourself on the back gal 🙂 xx -
Hey. I take it he’s still there? I’ve had to take more time off work just now because I’m also going ‘mad’ and I don’t even have that horrible person in my face anymore so I do recognise what you’re going through and I can totally empathise. I agree with Amaguq, a wee trip back to the docs might be needed. They won’t judge you, you tell them what you want to tell them. They’re there to help you.
I hope you can go or call WA again. They are brill. Xx
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Thank you for your kind words. I am almost living at the gp at the moment. I am a beginner musician and the band I play in is really for young people with their futures ahead of them. Many of them go on to become professional musicians. Maybe by the time I’m 70! I have an outreach appt with WA next week. I rarely speak to my IDVA. I expect she is too busy with high risk women. My husband doesn’t stalk me or track me so I’m not considered high risk. I have no idea what is going to happen to the house. I have no idea what I am supposed to do or whether I am supposed to move or what. The situation is untenable and b****y awful. My husband wishes to harm me and has wished me dead.
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“My husband wishes to harm me and has wished me dead.” oh gosh Maddog, how is that not high risk?
Huggggssssss
Glad you are seeing WA next week, they have helped me immensely and although I am new to this forum and find it difficult at times, it is beneficial to understand that we are not alone.What instrument do you play? lol @ 70
Shall I get your autograph now? lol
Keep doing what you enjoy, no matter how hard it is and all you want to do is crawl under our quilts and hide, music gives people happiness and you are talented enough to share that happiness 🙂
No more scratching, the invisible scars are enough to deal with, we can’t let them win!
Hold that beautiful head up high 🙂 -
So sorry that you have to suffer so badly!
Tell WA everything!
I think you are in danger!
When you did not attack your husband he can report you as often as he wants. You just tell them you did not do it. There will be no outcome.
My ex tried awful things on me, nearly got me arrested, but I voluntarily went to the police station to be interviewed. I was not afraid because I knew the truth.
He told them a bunch of lies and I told them my version. They dropped the case in the end as his stories did not make sense and all is fine.
These abusers try everything to harm us, telling the worst lies, trying to make us go crazy, …Stick to your truth.
You have to fight and keep your sanity.
Do not let him win.
I know how hard that is. I thought I would lose the plot for a long time.
Make sure you do good things for yourself, a piece of cake, a walk in the park, light a candle, …
Speak to Rights of Women too.Keep posting here.
We are all here for you. -
Haha I went to GP regarding DV and GP says ‘are you hearing voices’?
I said yes I’m hearing yours and it’s very patronising.
Also that ‘sad’ look like they are pitying you.
I had to say that being abused and seeking help for DV does not make ME mentally ill it makes HIM mentally ill.
Very patronising
She glanced at notes which mentioned a suicide attempt
I had to remind her that certain circumstances in her life could lead her to attempt suicide also. -
That sounds just horrible zizi. I hope you have a better gp now. One of the gps told me to just keep talking to my husband. Ok when you are speaking to someone able to reason. I have been away for the weekend with my younger daughter and a dog. Dread going back. My husband brings nothing to the house. He doesn’t cook or clean or have friends or family. I cannot be a parent to the children and I cannot keep the dogs safe as he is there. I have tried for (detail removed by moderator) to make things worj and hard as it is to accept, the elephant in the room is him. I am a beginner bassoonist!
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Spoke to dv hotline. Cannot get an injuction from them as I’m not being beaten black and blye so it’ll be the civil law. ££££££££. If I have to move I’ll have to pay 6 months rent as I’m not working and the dogs aren’t safe. Trying to find an old diary to get date of when my husband saw red and (detail removed by moderator) public event. It was terrifying and I’m ashamed to say I protected my husband. I wrote a letter which will have the date. Can’t find it. A rare occasion when there were witnesses. He wanted to cause harm.
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The doctor upped my anti gloom pills and gave me more valium. It’s probably better for me than wine. Maybe. Spoke to IDVA today about moving out and renting. Spoke to financial advisor. Spoke to solicitor about moving the divorce on and getting the house sold. Must get on and read the solicitor’s letter properly. I am knackered and just want to go to bed. I met a friend at the docs who said I look thin. I try really hard to keep my weight stable. When I was severely ill with depression was the only other time I ate chocolate because it’s easier than proper food. I don’t actually like it much. No more news about what if anything the police are doing and my appt with WA has been cancelled. That is annoying.
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