Mental health & nervous disposition

[Anonymous]

I am away from years of emotional/mental abuse, but need to ask if anyone knows? I had, had previous major things happen to me before I met him & was of a nervous disposition, although I had coped with everything & although heartbroken managed fine, kept my anxieties under control. I am quite sure that I have always had general anxiety disorder, not sure if born with or due to childhood abuse & trauma
Thanks to years of being with an abuser my anxieties are now severe. He knew as soon as he met me that I was nervous & knew quite a lot about my past, but not everything, my question is did he see me as already weak & sitting target for abuse? Also surely someone who abuses another who was already of a nervous disposition is quite sick to keep seriously abusing someone who he 100% knew couldn’t take much more, he got worse the weaker I got, did not let up until I was so broken I’d started being physically sick, daily headaches, physically so weak I did not know how to function as a whole human anymore. Does it now make me partly to blame because I was weak to start with? X

[Twisted Sister]

i absolutely think you are NOT to blame, as being of a nervous disposition is not a crime against another person. he’s the criminal by seeing you as someone to abuse, like you say, ‘… is quite sick to keep seriously abusing…’

i think blame is the wrong word to use, but i struggle a lot with this one that because i couldn’t answer him or understand what was going on that was my fault, similar to what you are saying perhaps.

Also, is so much easier /simpler to blame yourself in these relationships.

[Anonymous]

Hi Karmasister they do heap the blame onto us and it also happens to me now all around, professionals, family, friends, everyone seems to think of its just her she’s a nervous wreck she just doesn’t cope well with life its her own fault she was just too weak. I would actually like to see them abused (I wouldn’t) but for them to realise it can happen to anyone from any walk of life. I just can’t help but wonder did it hit me so much harder because of my nervous disposition xx

[Twisted Sister]

… because they heap the blame onto you [us].

[Anonymous]

Yes they do, and we are easy targets too as if years of abuse wasn’t bad enough, we are now deemed targets for all to see as weak pathetic people who need telling & ordering about, absolutely not what we need. Or to keep being told you over react or you are lazy because the abuse has left you with severe anxiety & ptsd/cptsd don’t think anyone quite realises what long term over (detail removed by Moderator) of serious domestic abuse does to you, Flashbacks, guilt that they piled onto us, usual stuff oh it’s her she’s over sensitive, well if he knew that, genuinely thought that (which of cause a serious abuser wouldn’t care anyway) but he did know what he was doing to me & my son (now adult) That makes in my thoughts his abuse all the crueler, to emotionally beat someone up, until you completely break them, not caring only about themselves and in his case his c*** his gambling, his image, the one of a caring, did so much for them, what a saint NOT NOT THE CASE cruel evil nasty pieces of work xx

[Author]

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