This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #68241

    So I looked this up after having a conversation at work about varying degrees of domestic violence. Is there a spectrum, as far as I believe there are unhealthy relationships and then there are abusive relationships. No wonder we have trouble working out whether were being abused or not. It was also said today that once men are recognised as abused people too they will sit up and take note of what womens aid are saying!! Isnt it gender bias?
    Unhealthy relationships;

    Not communicating: When problems arise, you fight or you don’t discuss them at all.
    •Disrespectful: One or more partners is not considerate of the other(s).
    •Not trusting: One partner doesn’t believe what the other says, or feels entitled to invade their privacy.
    •Dishonest: One or more partners tells lies.
    •Trying to take control: One partner feels their desires and choices are more important.
    •Only spending time with your partner: Your partner’s community is the only one you socialize in.
    •Pressured by the other into sexual activity: One partner uses pressure or guilt on the other to have sex or do anything sexual at any point.
    •Ignoring a partner’s boundaries: It is assumed only one partner is responsible for making informed decisions.
    •Unequal economically: Finances are not discussed, and/or it is assumed only one partner is in charge of finances.

    Abusive relationships;

    Communicates in a way that is hurtful, threatening, insulting or demeaning.
    •Mistreats the other: One partner does not respect the feelings, thoughts, decisions, opinions or physical safety of the other.
    •Accuses the other of cheating or having an affair when it’s not true: The partner who accuses may hurt the other in a physical or verbal way as a result.
    •Denies that the abusive actions are abuse: An abusive partner may try to blame the other for the harm they’re doing, or makes excuses for abusive actions or minimizes the abusive behavior.
    •Controls the other: There is no equality in the relationship. One partner makes all decisions for the couple without the other’s input.

    Isolates the other partner: One partner controls where the other one goes and who they talk to. They may isolate their partner from family and friends.
    •Forces sexual activity or pregnancy: One partner forces the other to have sex, or do anything they don’t want to do sexually at any point. In relationships where pregnancy is a physical possibility, one partner may force the other to become pregnant.
    •Exerts economic control: One partner controls the money and access to resources. Having an open dialogue about finances is not an option. This may include preventing a partner from earning an income or not allowing a partner access to their own income.
    •Engages in manipulative parenting: One partner uses the child(ren) to gain power and control over the other partner, including telling the child(ren) lies or negative things about the other partner.

    Hmm I don’t see the difference xx

  • #68243

    Exactly DIY, how do you see the difference when there isn’t one.
    How do you educate people when their beliefs are so entrenched that even younger women believe that women lie and make things out to be worse than they are (like in court cases).
    I was watching the news the other night and the male newscaster made a comment about trying to find a picture of the female newsreader where she didn’t look angry, mad, whatever the word he used. On live tv. It was so derogatory and sexist and no one said anything. The female newsreader did come back at end credits and called him a grumpy man but i was dumbfounded that I’d actually heard what i had.
    It’s the first time I’ve heard misogyny so blatantly. He probably thought he was being funny and would have covered it up with, can’t you take a joke or something similar😡😡
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #68249

    Its everywhere isn’t it? I used to love the song missing you by John Waite. I honestly cant listen to that song now!

    Also this might be removed, but lawyers tend to use women who are powerless to make money. They hold the power by keeping us dangling for information. Its so wrong. It is entrenched across the board xx We should be able to trust the professionals that are supposed to protect us xx DIY

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