Missing him why?

[Anonymous]

I am missing him so much and I just miss the little things like being able to talk to him and hear his voice. Will I ever get past feeling this way. 🙁

[freedomtochoose]

This is really hard. Recently had to distance myself from someone I used to phone every day. But it was clearly red flags coming from them. All the time. Even though I know it is trauma bonding probably it takes time to build up an alternative support network – and time for things to change.

I look back at the relationship with my ex husband now and don’t miss him at all. I guess there must have been a reason I married him. I think I was isolated, lonely, depressed probably and he seemed like the answer to many things. But clearly that wasn’t true.

Keep posting, keep reaching out to people, keep building alternatives….

[HopeLifeJoy]

Honor your feelings, grieve for the lost love but stay safe. Do not share your grief with him.
Inform yourself on the five stages of grief and also trauma bond.
You have to detox from him while going through your grief. It’s double the work as in a classical break-up.
You’ll get through this.
Once you don’t “need” him anymore or crave for him, or need to send him your love so he will feel better, once that need to be there for him is over, you will know that you got detoxed. Celebrate that part because it is a huge achievement. Treat yourself.
You will miss him less and less.
It’s a process. It’s a very similar process than going through drug rehab.
Take it step by step. Tiny baby step.
Take good care of yourself, be gentle with your heart and feelings and your physical health and stay safe.

[Whywhywhy]

Im feeling exactly the same people watching him move on with my best friend is unbarable i cannot imagine ever been happy with my decision to leave every day it eats away at me what there doing and why wasnt i enough to make him change i cannot seem to enjoy anything nemore x

[KIP.]

Him ‘moving on’ with your best friend is just another form of abuse. He sees this as a punishment for you daring to leave and reject him. They cannot stand that. Any decent human being wouldn’t even contemplate this. But we know they are liars and manipulators. It might not feel,like it now but you have had a lucky escape and given time and zero contact you will see this. It’s a rollercoaster ride to recover but his behaviour is absolutely no reflection on you. You do not need validation from a pathetic abuser. You are a good strong decent human being. Keep moving forward x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Whywhywhy, You did the right by leaving him. It’s so hard and heart-breaking but you did the right thing, because you are now safe. Before you were not.
You were more than enough. Way too good for him actually. He doesn’t deserve you. Him going with your best friend, so low. You can never change an abuser.
He is using Triangulation big time here.
He love-bombs your friend right now, on purpose to make you feel jealous and punish you for leaving him and showing you that he moves on. But he doesn’t move on. Because why doesn’t he get another girl-friend? One you don’t know? He gets to your best-friend so you are loosing a part of your support network and to hurt you. This so mean. He is stealing your best friend from you.
It will get better for you. Time helps. Don’t check what he and she do together.
Block him off. Go No Contact. This helps enormously to remove his poison from your entire being. You’ll feel better.

[Author]

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