moan time again

[Confused123]

hey ladies

Im just having a moan day, i should be happy i found a new place to live , but everytime i have to move i feel so scared, it like a cycle repeating of leaving ex , i feel scared and worry can i cope, when really i know i can cause have been for the past x years, dont know why ex is keeping comming in my thoughts, why i miss him i dont know, i remind myself all the time of what he did and why i can never go near him, in one way its a good thing this non mol is place for year cause he cant contact me now and it prevents me from unblocking him. I know his dangerous, i know i cant help him , but damm me for being over emphatic i just feel for him that he is so alone. This divorce is draining me , i pray it comes to end soon. I feel as if till divorce is over i am stuck in life , im sure when divorce is over i will be overhwelmed with emotions still. It really is ashame how difficult it is to get these abusers out of our lives and how system lets us down. Get days sometimes where i think just walk away with nothing, but the i think got this far, just drag myself bit more , was just thinking they make us ill from abusing us then they get another around when we try to divorce them

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Confused,

That’s great that you’ve found a new place to live, well done for persevering. I know what you mean about it bringing up thoughts of the ex, I have possibly found a new place too (just waiting to find out) and I have found myself thinking a lot about my ex again lately. I’ve been remembering his home, the ‘nice times,’ the abusive times, thinking about how he duped me, thinking how scary it is that I could have ended up living with him knowing how dangerous he is now, thinking about how I was completely fooled by him until it all suddenly dawned on me. I think any big life change like a move tends to bring up old feelings and memories, it is an emotional time for everyone and probably doubly so for survivors of abuse.

Let yourself feel all the feelings and then stick to no contact. For me the thoughts of him have surfaced because I keep meeting all these apparently perfect couples and families who want to buy our house. It just reminds me that I am alone, no man, no kids and work situation which is all over the place and it feels very very painful that they met a good man, had a family and can afford a nice house, but I am trying to remind myself that I don’t know what is going on in their personal lives and they too probably have problems and challenges.

Keep going and make sure you’re looking after yourself (I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted!)

Sunshine xx

[Ayanna]

Wonderful that you found a new place!
No wonder that you feel drained.
You have been battling against the abuser for years. That must be so exhausting with all the other problems that you have to deal with.
Do you have any indication of how long it still may take?
You are right, do not give in.
Fight him all the way.
When it is over you will be glad that you did not give up.

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

Thx u both of i for the replies. So greatful have this site where ladies get what u going through , sometimes i think i have been out x years should be over this by now but its shocking how till thee divorce is over and they are totally out of your life u still get triggers…. sometimes i think im losing the plot, but continue to throw those negative thoughts out

[Author]

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