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    • #104569
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      Hey Ladies,

      So I haven’t posted for a few days after my continuous moaning about recent weeks.

      So once I’d wallowed for a while I started to gain some perspective and strength.

      My situation has been going on for many many years and the same darn cycle back and forth/round and round.

      I decided to speak to the great PCSO that has been checking in on me and spoke to someone at the DWP.

      I’ve spent the day looking for properties and hopefully will decide on something over the weekend. I’ve saved enough for a deposit and I think I’m just going to pay and so I can hold the tenancy. It’s furnished so that makes it easier too.

      That’s as far as I’ve got so far.. I need to work out logistically how and when I’m going.

      I’m petrified about the unknown, worried what will the kids say and him obviously.. but I can smell a bit of freedom! I have a glimmer.

      I’m going to try and clarify things in my mind over the weekend and plan for next week.

      Feel slightly sick with worry just writing this..

    • #104573
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      That’s fantastic work. That’s huge progress, and in just a few days too. You’re taking control now, hopefully onwards and upwards from here, well done. Keep following your nose, that smell of freedom is a wonderful scent 🙂

    • #104574
      Theydeservethebest
      Participant

      Wow, well done you. Keep moving forwards even if some days it’s just a little. I don’t know if you celebrate Christmas but for me that’s what I’m picturing looking forward to in a very different situation I hope. A good better one. Good luck

    • #104585
      Hope123
      Participant

      Well done for getting a plan together. First steps towards a better future x

    • #104604
      Rubymurray
      Participant

      Amazing news….keep going with those positive vibes.

      Can I ask how did you stumble across a PCSO to check in on you, this sounds lovely and so helpful. Ive never met my key worker yet and she’s also in a different town, I don’t feel very close to her, wish I could find someone to talk to face to face if needed thats local and safe.

      I’m also commenting and following your post bc I’ve got similar issues….. I just need to find somewhere, with you saying you think you will just pay the deposit to hold the tenancy is a very good idea….thank you for sharing that. Every day my mind is in a dilemma about how im gonna do this. I have kind of dreamt about doing something similar recently (But what a big secret it would be when he ultimately finds out I’ve already got somewhere to live….. daunting but i feel it’s a doable helpful option too)

      One step closer 🙂 x

    • #104606
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      Rubymurray – I do feel very fortunate that I have her and she’s been a great source of knowledge and works closely with my IDVA – I was introduce to her.

      The DWP were really helpful too! If you haven’t got the means for deposit then they said they can give an early payment. I thought I had to leave before asking for that kind of help, but you can start the claim before you leave and then as long as you leave the joint home within a couple of weeks then that’s fine. So it gives time for payment to come through and plan.

      No letters will come to address, just a secure email – confirming everything.

      I hope this helps.

    • #104607
      Cantmakedecisons
      Participant

      This is the furthest I’ve ever got.. had a little wobble this evening but I’m going to sleep and hope I feel strong tomz.

    • #104608
      Wants To Help
      Participant

      Wobbles are normal, it’s that reality setting in that you have started a process that you now know is real. There’s a formulated plan and it’s going to happen. You really want to do it, you’re just not quite sure how you’ll cope with any uncertainties that arise. You’re venturing in to new territory. It’s always going to be a little bit daunting, but you’ve got a support network around you to help you through x

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